Insecurity
by RosalieThropp
Summary: Collection of short-fics about Nikita's feelings and her relationship with Michael since Max and Cassandra showed up. Contain spoilers from episode 02x05 - Looking Glass and on.
1. Looking Glass

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**A/N**: My first Nikita story, so it's probably not my best. Set after 02x05 - Looking Glass. I just thought Nikita seemed really upset with the Michael-Cassandra story and this is just my little insight on her feelings. Also,** English is not my first language**, so there will be grammar/coherence mistakes. Just let me know where and I'll fix it.

Enjoy!

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><p>Nikita was lying on the bed in a hotel room outside Minsk while Michael talked on the phone with Birkoff. Cassandra had decided to stay in Belarus with Max instead of moving to the US, so she knew Michael was probably just setting things up for them to return home on the next day.<p>

Not that she was paying any attention. Her mind was a turmoil of thoughts and emotions spiraling in inside her head along with the terrifying feeling of uncertainty; the events of the last couple of days still stirring inside of her, spreading a wave on anguish through her body.

"_I found that I couldn't…" he evaded, looking down._

_Nikita felt a twinge of sorrow "Leave your feelings out of it?" she supplied for him. _

"_She was just a mission, nothing else" he reassured her._

But she knew from the look on his eyes and the almost imperceptible edge on his voice that he was _lying_. Cassandra had been more than just an asset.

_And probably meant more to him than me_ – she bitterly thought.

She tried to control the poison of jealousy cursing trough her veins; she knew she had no right to be jealous of Cassandra.

But she couldn't help it. Michael seemed so devoted to her, and since she had seen Michael and Cassandra interacting there was this awful feeling in the pit of her stomach. The feeling that she might just lose what she holds most dear.

Her heart sank at the slightly possibility. Michael was her strength, the only constant in her life, the person that kept her sane and gave her reason to keep going. She was complete at loss without him.

The thought was terrifying to her.

She took a calming breath when she felt Michael join her on the bed.

Snuggling her against his chest, he wrapped an arm around her waist and lovingly kissed her hair "We are all set for tomorrow morning" he announced. His lips moved to her neck as his hands wandered through her thighs.

Suddenly feeling insecure, her heart raced. Michael felt Nikita's body's stiff at the touch of his hands.

"Hey…"he said gently turning her over so he could look at her "what's the matter?" he asked, searching her eyes for any indication of what was bothering her.

He was worried when the only thing he could see in her beautiful brown eyes was nothing but pure vulnerability. She was fragile and he knew he had to handle her with care.

"Nikita, what happened?" he asked, his fingers slightly stroking his hair in an attempt to reassure her.

She sighed and shook her head.

"I'm okay, just tired" she gave him a sad smile hoping he would buy it.

But he knew better than that. He knew her well enough to know that she was lying. Deep down, he knew what was really troubling her.

"Look, if this is about Cassandra…" he started, but Nikita didn't let him finish.

"I'm just tired" she insisted "let's just go to sleep, okay" she turned away from him again, pulling the covers up "We have to wake up early tomorrow" she told him over her shoulders.

Knowing better then push her, Michael just kissed her shoulder and whispered good night.

Though Michael fell asleep quickly, Nikita's mind was still racing through all her doubts.

She noticed his change of demeanor every time she mentioned Cassandra. The look on his eyes.

Did Michael love Cassandra more than he loved her? Wasn't she as especial? Was he still in love whit her? Would he go back to her?

In the middle of her insecurities her mind flashed back to the day before.

_He looked down; his eyes filled with sadness "I'd started to forget what it's like…having a family_"

Didn't he consider _her_ his family? Wasn't she enough?

And then of course, there was _Max. _There was no way in the world Michael would choose her over Max. Ever.

The thought brought tears to her eyes.

She knew how much Michael missed having a family, and though she wished she could give him that, they both knew it was not an option. Not in their current situation.

Would he leave her for Cassandra and their son?

The idea caused a hysteria to rise on her chest and she knew wouldn't be able to control her tears anymore.

Trembling, she got out of bed and went to the bathroom as fast as she could without waking up Michael.

Closing the door behind her, she walked towards the sink and put her hands down on the cold marble to support herself. Taking several deep breaths she tried her swallow back her tears. But when she finally looked up and faced her image in the mirror she couldn't control herself.

Sobbing, she let the warm tears surface and stream down her face.

Embarrassed, she looked away from the mirror and sat on the edge of the tub, hiding her face on her hands, trying to stop the damn tears, and hoping it would muffle the sound of her sobs.

Was she overreacting? Were her fears unfounded?

"_Michael, I wanted to ask you something but I didn't want it to come out the wrong way" She had managed to control her voice "That night in Russia, at the safe house. You said you couldn't be with me because you had to avenge your family first. But now you're saying you've been with Cassandra…" she swallowed, wishing he couldn't see how hurt she was. _

_Michael looked away, and didn't answer as fast as she would like him to have. He didn't look at her when he answered "The man that was with Cassandra was…someone else"_

_But it didn't reassure her like she hoped it would._

She replayed these moments in her head over and over again; the edge on his voice every time he mentioned Cassandra, the way they exchanged looks, the way they hugged each other. The times Michael couldn't look in her eyes.

God, it hurt her.

She didn't hear the door open. She didn't notice him entering the bathroom.

Michael watched his beautiful, strong girl dissolve into tears while hiding in a bathroom like a teenage girl.

He hated to see her cry, especially because of him. Kneeling down in front of her, he slowly removed her hands, revealing her tear stained face.

"Talk to me, Nikita" he pleaded.

She closed her eyes and sobbed "You must think I'm really silly"

Michael held her hands end pulled her from the tub to the floor next to him, holding her against his chest "No, I don't. You're feeling rejected because I slept with Cassandra and refused to sleep with you back in Russia" He knew her well enough to know what was on her mind.

"I'm sorry" she whispered "I know I have no right to feel this way"

He chuckled "Well, we can't control these kind of feelings" he kissed her hair and rocked back and forth slowly, soothingly.

"I'm just afraid I'm not as special as her" she admitted "I don't wanna lose you, Michael. I wouldn't bare it"

Loosening his grip on her, he tilted her chin up and looked deeply into her eyes "You're everything to me, Nikita" Capturing her lips with his, he could feel the salty taste of her tears and her need for reassurance. Her need for him. "You're my home, you're my family. I'm not going anywhere."

Nikita clutched the fabric of his shirt, like if trying to hold on his promise. Like if her life depended on it.

He knew she was still sentimental about it, and he wanted nothing more than comfort her. Caressing her cheek, he smiled at her.

"I love you. There's nothing that would make me leave you." He kissed her lips once more "I promise"

Nikita rested her head against his chest and smiled. But the sense of relief that spread through her body didn't last long as the image of a five year old blonde little boy flashed in her mind.

_If only you knew_ – she thought, swallowing the lump in her throat.

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><p>Reviews are love :)<p> 


	2. Walnut Lane

**Disclaimer:** I still own nothing. Never have, never will.

**A/N:** Wow you guys are awesome! I almost couldn't believe in the positive response I got on this story, thank you so much. As I mentioned on my replies to your reviews, I wasn't planning on continuing this, but seeing your response to it encouraged me to do so. **English still not my first language**, so just tell me where the mistakes are and I'll fix them.

This is set in between Michael and Nikita leaving Birkhoff's house after it was blown up, and the next day when Nikita tells Michael the truth about Max.

Okay, so here it goes. I hope you like it

Enjoy!

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><p>She didn't realize what she was doing, she wasn't thinking straight. When Nikita came to her senses she was being dragged out of the house by Michael after putting two bullets in Richard's chest. For the first time in her life, she wasn't regretting killing someone.<p>

"We need to move before division gets her "she thought she heard Birkhoff say, but she wasn't sure. She wasn't sure of anything else anymore.

Michael gently guided her to one of Birkoff's cars; the one that hadn't been blown up; placing her on the back seat, and then sitting in the front seat next to Birkhoff. The young nerd looked through the rear mirror to see a very torn Nikita numbly looking out of the window.

"Mikey, maybe you should…" Birkhoff said motioning with his head to the girl in question.

Understanding what his friend meant, Michael moved to the back seat, pulling her against his chest "Nikita…" he whispered kissing her hair "I'm so sorry" He tightened his hold on her when the sobs started rocking her body.

Nikita was feeling nauseous; disappointment, betrayal and shame taking over her body, making her feel worthless. As if she didn't already have enough issues on her mind.

The drive was silent; the only noise was the muffled sound of Nikita's cries and the silent engine of the car. They pulled at an inn outside the city only a few minutes later.

"Isn't this too public?" Michael asked when Birkhoff handed him a key.

Birkhoff looked at the broken girl sitting in the backseat of his car and back at Michael "Do you think a cheap, creepy motel is the best place for her? She kind of needs to relax and a dirty motel room won't do the trick this time" he said "Plus I just burned my house down and I really would like a decent, comfy bed to sleep in tonight"

Michael just sighed.

"Go get her" he went on, giving him the car keys as well "I'll see you in the morning. I'm in the next room if you need anything"

Michael looked back at Nikita; she hadn't moved from her previous position.

"Hey, you take good care of her, you hear me?" Birkhoff demanded narrowing his eyes.

Slightly annoyed, Michael asked "What?"

The youngest man snorted "You heard me" he emphasized "this has been going on for days before things got crazy tonight. I'm telling you, you better fix things up or I'll give you a piece of my mind"

Walking away, Birkhoff didn't give Michael time to respond.

Turning his attention back at Nikita, he helped her out of the car "Come on, baby. Let's get some sleep" Michael said leading her inside the room, and easing her off his hold and into the bed.

Nikita stared at him with sad eyes "I believed him, Michael" she whispered "I believed everything he said to me. How could I be so stupid?"

Michael felt his heart ache at the hurt tone in her voice "Don't beat yourself up. You couldn't have known he was lying"

She shook her head and sobbed, tears filling her eyes once more "I _should_ have known"

He put a strand of hair behind her ear "Look, he was Division. You know how Division works. They knew your past was your weakness and they used it against you. It was a low blow" he kissed her forehead when she clutched his hand in an unspoken request for his affection "no one can blame you for wanting to know who your parents were or where you came from"

Nikita took a shaky breath in an attempt to control her sobs, but failed miserably. Michael held her to his chest while rubbing soothing circles on her back " Just cry it out" he said into her hair, slowly rocking her back and forth.

Too tired to fight her feelings, Nikita let out all the tears she had been holding since the week prior, in the hopes it would ease the pain inside her.

"If you wanna talk about Richard…"he started, but the look on Nikita's face made it very clear that wasn't the best thing for him to say.

"Well, I don't" she sobbed.

"Nikita…" he sighed.

"Why does it even matter?" she questioned, her voice a little louder than she intended.

Michael tilted her chin up "Because it does" he ran his fingers through her hair, pulling it out of her face.

But she just shook her head and wiped her tears, desperately trying to stop them.

"I get it that you're frustrated" he kept talking, but she didn't let him finish.

"I'm not frustrated. I'm angry at myself" she admitted, her voice low and tense "It was really stupid and naïve of me to think my real father would have actually cared about me. Whoever he is, I bet he didn't think I was worth it, and that's why he gave me up"

Feeling her sorrow, he stroked her hair lovingly "Don't say that"

"Why not?" she asked, looking up at him her eyes full with unshed tears he didn't want him to see, but still couldn't hide "I've been through different families and not one of them thought it was worth keeping me. Why would my birth father be any different?"

Michael shook his head "Nikita, listen to me, and listen good, okay?" he held her gaze, his face serious "They're all wrong. You're worth everything. _Everything_" he stressed his words "Don't let anyone make you believe otherwise"

She shook her head again, disbelieving his words "Just for a moment, Michael…Just for a moment I thought I had something real. He told me about my mother, about how they met...All lies" she took in a shaky breath before continuing "I just wanted some sort of a home, some guidance, anything! I wanted so badly".

She bursted into tears again and Michael held her in his arms, trying to comfort her. He knew how sensitive she was when it came to family matters. Especially her family matters.

"You have me" he declared "I'm real. I'll be your home, I'll guide you" he assured her.

She looked up at him, her eyes still blurred with tears "I know…And that's why I don't wanna lose you, Michael"

"Who said anything about losing me?" he questioned, holding her tight and running his hands up and down her back.

"I just feel…like I'm not going to be enough" she said, her voice only above a whisper.

He loosened his grip on her, creating space between them. When she looked down, he tilted her chin up, making her look him in the eyes "What makes you think that?"

Her eyes were watery again "I'm just so scared, Michael"

"Don't be. I'm not going anywhere" he promised.

Nikita buried her face on his neck, taking in his familiar scent, which made her feel a little calmer.

Neither of them was really sure how long they stayed that way, but Michael only loosened his grip on Nikita when he was certain her tears had subsided.

She let out a loud sigh and then looked up, her brown eyes burning into his, pleading for his reassurance. He stroked her cheek, absently brushing through the bruises on her face, making her hiss at the pain his touch and the salty moisture of her tears had caused.

"Sorry. I'll go find something to tend your wounds with" he said looking at the cuts and bruises on her face "Why don't you take a shower? Try to get some rest".

Nikita nodded "Yeah…I'll do that" she said in an almost whisper.

He kissed her quickly on the lips before getting up "Are you going to be okay by yourself?"

"I'll be fine" she guaranteed.

"I won't be long" he said getting the key card from a small table by the door "I'm taking the key. Do not open the door to anybody, okay?"

She just nodded.

" I'll be right back" he said before closing the door behind him.

She didn't immediately move from her spot on the bed, though. For about ten minutes, she just sat there, trying to figure out how she should feel about all the things happening in her already messed up life.

Not being able to find the answers she was so desperately seeking, she headed to the bathroom.

Nikita felt relieved when the hot water fell to her body, undoing the knots on her back, lessening her tension. She closed her eyes taking deep, even breaths, trying to soothe the anguish within her heart. However, as her eyes closed, she couldn't prevent the thought s from rushing through her mind in such an intensity that made her dizzy.

Feeling her legs tremble and her head spin, she slowly sat on the floor of the tub, bringing her knees up the her bare chest, and resting her head atop of them, her mind wondering once more. Confused memories filled her mind, suddenly numbing her body.

"_Michael is Max's father" she stated_

_Cassandra looked up at her, mortified "You cannot tell him" she pleaded._

_.-_

"… _I don't wanna lose him" she admitted to the man she once thought was her father "It has been so hard, keeping this from him"_

_.-_

"_Just…wondered if you ever thought about children" Richard had said to her._

_She shook her head, slightly embarrassed "Ohh, I don't know…With this life that we lived, seems far off" she swallowed the lump in her throat "Although sometimes I think that…Michael wishes he had a child"_

_.-_

_She stared at the two little plastic sticks on the sink, to the one in her hand, and then back at her watch. One showed a little plus sign. The other had the display turned red. She stared at the third one, waiting for the answer that would either confirm of invalidate her suspicions._

_She took a calming breath. This couldn't be happening to her, she thought. At least not now._

_Long five minutes passed, and one single line showed up in the display. And although she was mostly feeling relived, a small part of her was disappointed that she wasn't pregnant._

_.-_

"_Sounds like there's something you wanna tell me" he tried to persuade her._

"_Michael…" she started, but couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence._

"_Oh, my God" he exclaimed._

"_What?" she asked, alarmed at the tone in his voice. She turned around to face him._

"_Are you…?" he stared at her, and she could have sworn she saw hope and excitement in his eyes._

_Getting his meaning her heart raced "No…" she interrupted him as fast as she could._

"…_Pregnant?" he finished his question, an almost smile crossing his face._

"_No…" she said, hiding her face from him, suddenly feeling bashful "I know what you meant… the answer is no"_

"_Ohh, good" he said, and she gave him a questioning look "No…I didn't mean 'good'" she frowned, confused "I didn't meant 'good', I meant'' he stuttered " you know what I meant"_

_And even though she knew he didn't meant it like that, for some reason she was mildly hurt that his first reaction was saying "good"._

_.-_

"_Michael is Max's father"_

"_You cannot tell him"_

_.-_

"_The decision is yours" Cassandra said before walking away._

_.-_

"_Michael is Max's father"_

_.-_

"_The decision is yours"_

_.-_

"_The decision is yours"_

_.-_

"… _I don't wanna lose him"_

.-

"_The decision is yours"_

Those scenes kept repeating in her mind over and over again. Nikita wanted to scream; the decision was not _hers_. She had nothing to do with this. How could Cassandra throw this kind of responsibility on her?

Nikita only realized she was crying again when she missed the feeling of the hot water on her body, and felt Michael wrapping her up with a towel, pulling her out of the tub.

"I knew I shouldn't have left you alone" Michael said, holding her and trying desperately to make her stop crying. He had seen her cry more this past few days then in the last few years he had known her, and it was very unsettling for him to see her so heartbroken.

"I'm fine, Michael" she said in between her sobs.

Pulling her wet hair off her face, he stared down at her "Well, then you have a very bad definition of 'fine'"

She sighed "I'm just so confuse" she said, her voice thick with tears.

"Hey, hey… You're going to be fine, I promise. I won't let you break" he softly kissed her lips, sealing his promise "Come on, you must be cold" he said unwrapping the wet towel covering her body, making her shiver. Feeling self-conscious under his gaze, Nikita was more than grateful when he quickly helped her into the soft white bathrobe.

"Better?" he questioned; his hands rubbing her arms up and down as he realized she was slightly uncomfortable.

She nodded "Yeah, thank you".

He gave her a comforting smile "Good. Now come on, let me take care of these bruises" he said as he gently guided back to the room.

Nikita sat on the bed in silence while Michael cleaned the cuts on her face with cotton and some alcohol. The silence was only broken by eventual whines from Nikita.

"Sorry" Michael apologized "I know it burns, but it was the best I could find"

"It's okay" she brushed it off like if it wasn't a big deal "How's your chest?" she asked.

He chuckled "It stings a little, but I think I'll survive"

She gave him a sad smile. Putting some alcohol on one of the cotton balls and pressing it on the bruises in his face, they fell back in silence while tending each other's bruises.

"Michael…"she broke the silence but trailed off, unable to finish her sentence.

He put the cotton down "What is it?" he asked, seeing her hesitation. It was the second time she did that and he just _knew_ she was hiding something.

She sighed and looked down, still not answering him.

"Nikita…"

"I've been wondering…"she started, slightly nervous.

"You've been wondering…?" he encouraged her.

She took a deep breath "Yesterday, you asked me if I was pregnant… Why did you thought that?" she asked, her voice almost breaking.

"Ohh, that" he said, averting her gaze.

She nodded, feeling awkward "Yeah, that"

"I…I knew you were late. And then you were really sensitive about… well, everything. I saw you crying the whole week and…then I felt you were hiding something from me, so I just thought…"

"Yeah, me too" she admitted, her cheeks reddening.

He looked up at her, surprised "You really thought you could be pregnant?" he questioned.

She nodded "Yeah, for about fifteen minutes" she sighed "I was totally freaked out"

Michael stroked her hair "Why didn't you tell me?"

Nikita looked away and got up, walking towards the window and turning her back at him; she hated feeling vulnerable and she didn't want him to see her so susceptible.

"I didn't want to disappoint you" she tried her best to keep her voice even.

Michael was quickly by her side, his arms encircling her waist, pulling her back against his chest "Disappoint me?"

She turned around, fully facing him "I know how much you want a child. I wasn't going to create an expectation out of something I wasn't sure about" she sighed "I guess I was just trying to avoid seeing that look on you face"

Michael frowned "What do you mean?"

"I saw the look on your face when you asked me if I was pregnant" she looked down at her hands "You seemed so excited, and… when I told you I wasn't I could see disappointment crossing you face and…" she sighed again, not managing to organize her line of thoughts.

Michael sighed loudly, realization suddenly hitting him. He mentally kicked himself "I'm so sorry, Nikita. I never meant to put this kind of pressure on you" he apologized "It's just… sometimes I miss having"

"A family?" she asked

"Kids" he answered "_Kids._ Because I_ have_ a family" he pulled her to his arms again "right here, like you said it" he stroked her hair.

Nikita rested her head on his shoulder, feeling his warmth and relying on the sense of safety she got every time she was around him.

"And if our lives ever get less complicated" he continued "I'm sure you'll make me a father again"

A chill ran down Nikita's spine at his last words.

Little did he know he was already a father again. The thing was,_ she_ just _wasn't_ the mother.

And she was not ready to tell him that just yet.

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><p><strong>AN:** I really hope this didn't disappoint you. And yes, I know Nikita's flashbacks are a little confused, but that's kind of the idea

Love it? Hate it? Tell me what you think!


	3. London Calling  Part 1

**Disclaimer:** Still own nothing. Never had, and sadly, never will.

**A/N**: Hey guys. Thanks again for all the awesome reviews, you guys rock! So, everybody still a little tear-eyed after last night's episode? I know I was deeply upset.

Anyway, here it goes my insight on Michael's and Nikita's feelings after their break up.

**English still not my first language. And just so you know, I'm posting this at 4:45 in the morning, so if there are a lot of grammar/coherence mistakes,bear with me. I'll read it again when I wake up and correct them, I promise.**

Hope it doesn't disappoint you.

Enjoy!

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><p>Birkhoff knew she probably didn't want any company, but he couldn't just leave her alone. Not if what he thought happened in London really happened in London.<p>

She walked out of the gate, one hand clutching a small bag, the other one running compulsively over her hair. She seemed lost, nervous, hurt and so, _so_ fragile.

It was really difficult for him to see her like this. She had always been so strong and brave that seeing her so disconsolate was more than unsettling. Deciding to help his best friend, Birkhoff put on a comforting half smile on his face and walked towards her.

Nikita had had the worst flight ever; she couldn't sleep. Her mind was still reeling; she was still too hurt for her subconscious to allow her any sleep. And she didn't knew how much more she could take without breaking down.

Though all she wanted was to be alone, she was relieved to see a friendly face; it gave her a sense of stability.

Stability. Security. It all took form in one man; the man she loved.

The man she _left in London_.

"Hey Nikki" he said, picking up her bag "Come on, let's get you home"

She forced a small smile "Thanks, nerd"

The drive was silent, as they both knew it would be; she wasn't in the mood for talking, and he knew better than to force the issue.

Dinner was even quieter than the ride home, but still, Birkhoff did not mention the subject. He only watched her, wondering how he could help the girl who was like a sister to him.

Since Cassandra had popped up on the picture, Birkhoff knew it was only a matter of time until things between his two best friends got messed up.

But honestly, he couldn't believe Michael would choose Cassandra over Nikita; and it made him slightly angry.

It wasn't until 1:30 in the morning, when he found Nikita awake in the living room that he learned the whole story.

"Hey" he said, startling her. She looked up at him, and recognizing who he was, she turned her attention back at the TV and kept flipping through the channels.

She still didn't want to talk. It hurt to talk about it; it hurt to even think about it. And to her despair, she couldn't stop thinking that she had lost the love of her life.

God, she missed him.

"What are you doing?" Birkhoff asked, sitting by her side.

She sighed "Can't sleep" she whispered "Sorry I woke you"

"It's okay" he sympathized. He looked at her, without knowing what to do. She looked devastated and he could almost feel her anguish. And he wasn't any good in talking about feelings.

For a moment, he wondered if it was too late to try contacting Alex and ask her to help Nikita. But that would just make things more complicated.

"Do you want to…talk?" he asked lamely.

Nikita turned her attention at him, the hurt look concealing her features once more "No, I don't". She was feeling hurt and tired and the last thing she wanted was to deal with all those feeling that were slowly eating her inside.

"Okay…" he conceded "Do you want a drink?" he offered what he believe to be the next best thing.

She gave him a sad smile "The strongest thing you have, please"

So they sat there for God knows how long, drinking scotch and just watching some random thing on the TV. It took three and a half glasses of scotch until Nikita finally spoke up.

"It's not about Cassandra, you know" she started, her voice deep and low "It's about Max."

"It's about his safety, isn't it?" Birkhoff assumed.

She slowly nodded "Michael doesn't see it yet. But it's crystal clear to me…" she swallowed "If he's with me, it would be dangerous to Max. He would have to stay away in order to protect him. And he can't stay away from Max, so…"

"He can't be with you" he supplied her line of though.

"Exactly" Her eyes filled with tears, so she closed them, trying to stop the tears from falling down her face.

"Don't cry, Nikki" the young nerd pleaded; he didn't like to see his best friend cry.

"I couldn't make him choose between me and his son" she continued; the anguish inside her was so consuming she just needed to share her burden with someone else "'Cause if he choose me, he would wonder for the rest of his life how it would've been to see his child grow up. And I couldn't deny him the chance to be a father again…" failing to control her tears, she let out a sob "…or deny Max the opportunity to have a father"

At a loss of words, Birkhoff only squeezed her hand, trying to wordlessly reassure her.

She sighed before continuing "It's just… there's no room in his life for me. And I knew he would never admit it, so…I had to"

"And that's why _you_ broke up with _him_?" he asked, though he already knew the answer.

She nodded "But deep down, all I wanted was for him to stop me, to fight for me, for _us_" she admitted, her voice thick with tears. She let out a loud sob and hid her face in her hands.

"Nikki…" Birkhoff said, suddenly alarmed at the sign of more tears. He did not know how to handle a crying girl.

She sobbed again "I left him standing in front of Cassandra's house, I walked away and I hoped he would follow me, call my name, stop me somehow…But he just let me walk away" her voice broke at the last words.

"I'm really sorry, Nikita" seeing her like this was afflicting him, and he did not knew what to do.

She shook her head "I guess I always knew there was something between them. It's a bond, so strong… Even stronger than his feelings for me"

"Don't say that… "

Tears streamed down her face "But it's true. They have a son together, Birkhoff. There's no way I could ever compete with that"

Hesitantly, he pulled her into a hug, trying to comfort her. Nikita rested her head on his shoulders, letting her tears fall freely.

"I just wished he hadn't let me go that easily" she mumbled.

He stroked her hair "I know…"

"It hurts so much…" she cried "Seeing him with them. They are the family I always pictured for myself but…"she took in a shaky breath "I'm just not in the picture. Cassandra is standing in my place and I can't even blame her for that"

"Gosh Nikki, I can't even start to imagine how hard this has been for you" the computer technician admitted "I'm really, really sorry about all of this"

Exhausted, Nikita closed her eyes, all the frustration from the last few weeks taking over her body "And you know what really kills me? That he has a son, and I'm not the mother. I just feel so worthless and insignificant and… I miss him so much. The idea of not being with him just tortures me…every second… "

She started slurring her words and Birkhoff just knew she was falling into unconsciousness; whether it was from the alcohol of from the emotional stress, he couldn't tell.

He accommodated her on the couch the best he could without waking her up, and covered her up with a blanket.

Getting his cellphone, he texted Michael to let him know Nikita was as fine as she could be, but he didn't wait for his friend's answer.

Though he knew it wasn't exactly Michael's fault, his mind couldn't help scheming at least five different ways of making Michael pay for hurting Nikita like that.

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><p><strong>AN:** I wanted to portrait Birkhoff's and Nikita's friendship here. Am I doing it right? Ohh, and up next, an insight on Michael's feelings. This should be interesting.

So tell me: loved it? Hated it? Either way, tell me! :)


	4. London Calling  Part 2

**Disclaimer:** Still own nothing. Never had, and sadly, never will.

**A/N:** Hey guys. Thanks again for all the awesome reviews ! Here it goes, as I mentioned, my insight on Michael's feelings after the break up.

**English still a issue, but you guys know the drill: any grammar/coherence mistakes, just let me know :)**

I'm warning you, I had a little difficulty writing Cassandra's thoughts, **so pardon me if she's a little out of character.**

Hope you guys like it.

Enjoy!

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><p>"And then she just…walked away" Michael said with a sigh. Nikita's face flashed on his mind, the hurt look on her eyes cutting deeply through his heart. Michael exhaled, the agony in his chest expanding in almost unbearable proportions. He swallowed back his tears and hung his head in defeat.<p>

"Ohh, Michael" Cassandra handed him a cup of tea "I'm so sorry"

"This is not your fault, Cassandra" he assured her, looking down at his cup of tea.

The blonde held back a chuckle "Ohh, I know. This is all _your _fault" she emphasized.

Michael looked up at her, crestfallen "What?" he whispered, putting the cup down.

She choose her next words carefully "Come on, Michael… you've been sending her mixed signals since Belarus, what did you think was going to happen?"

Michael frowned "Mixed signals?"

Cassandra held her tongue, deciding against entering a more delicate matter when he was still so saddened about Nikita's departure.

"Look, I'm just saying this was bound to happen. You just didn't want to see it" she said matter-of-factly.

"What's your point, Cassandra?" he asked slightly annoyed; he was getting more and more frustrated with her insinuations.

With a small smile, she shook her head "You know, you're so smart and so grounded most of the time…but sometimes you're such a man"

He gave her a stern look "Your point Cassandra, please"

"My point is, I kind of get where she's coming from" she said calmly, as if sympathizing with Nikita " She doesn't want to be the person to whom Max looks up and thinks 'you're the reason why my parents are not together'. The same way I don't want to be the person to whom she looks up and thinks 'you're the reason why Michael and I are not together'".

Michael sighed and Cassandra watched as all the different emotions; sorrow, anguish, regret; crossed his face forming an expression of pure misery.

In an attempt to pacify his apparent inner conflict, she ran her hand up and down his back.

Misinterpreting her actions, he inched away from her touch, closing his eyes in frustration and putting his head down on his hands.

"Cassandra, look… With all due respect, I care about you, I really do. You're the mother of my son and… " he evaded with sigh, words suddenly failing him "But Nikita is the one I love" he stated at least.

He heard her low chuckle and looked up at her.

Cassandra stared back at him arching one perfectly delineated eyebrow; a small smile playing on her lips "You really are such a man, you knew that?" she said with an amused grin.

Michael stared at her, slightly offended she had made fun of him.

She rolled her eyes with a laugh "Believe me, Michael. It's perfectly clear to me that you don't want to resume our relationship. And for the record, neither do I" she clarified.

Cassandra remained quiet for a while, pondering if she should tell him or not about how _his_ behavior had a big part on Nikita leaving.

"Look, Michael. I know you truly love Nikita" she started carefully "But for your dismay, _Nikita_ doesn't know that. And that's why she left".

"This doesn't make any sense, Cassandra" he complained.

"Ohh but it does, Michael" she stated "You're a man; I don't expect you to understand. But as a woman myself, I think I can say that it _does _make sense"

He shook his head, not wanting to believe it "No... She left because she believed that Max was in danger with her around. If I was with her, Division would be after us and Max would be in danger. Because she didn't believe I could be around without putting him in jeopardy. That's why she left."

"Michael…" she started, her voice even and calm "We all know Max is already in danger. I have many enemies, and so do you. There are people after you with or without Nikita" she tried to make him understand "I'm sure she had Max's wellbeing in sight as well, but that's not the main reason why she left"

He gave her a confused look "I don't follow"

"She did was she thought it was right. She loves you Michael, and she has seen how great you are with Max. She wanted to give a chance to your happiness, even if it meant she had to take herself out of the equation"

His mind racing through all the information Cassandra had just unloaded on him and on the events of the previous hours, Michael grunted in distress.

"You can't be serious, Cassandra. You don't know Nikita. Do you really think she would think that? That I would fall back in love with you and the three of us would be one happy family?"

Cassandra nodded "Pretty much. No running away, no hiding, no life threatening situations. It's only normal she would want it for the man she loves, even if it was without her. She only failed to acknowledge that my life is as messed up as hers"

Michael sighed, suddenly feeling drained.

"She only wanted to give you the chance to have a family. To make things work with Max and I. It's very noble of her. And maybe in another world where our lives were not so complicated; and you weren't so madly in love with her; it might have worked" Cassandra said, her lips curving in a sad smile.

Michael shook his head again, disbelieving her words "No" was the only thing he could think of.

"Really, Michael? Don't you know that when it comes down to matters of the heart and you're torn and scared, even smart people can be confused" she put a comforting hand on her shoulder "Even smart people like Nikita"

Distressed, Michael ran his hands through his thick brown hair "I can't believe she thought I could be happy without her" the memory of her almost brought tears to his eyes "Didn't she know I love her?" he asked to no one in particular "She's everything to me, Cassandra. How could she not know that?" he questioned.

"Maybe she did" she conceded "But again, mixed signals"

At her comment, he narrowed his eyes "What's that supposed to mean?"

Before Cassandra could answer him, they both heard Max calling his mother. Cassandra got up the couch.

"Just think about it" she told Michael before leaving the room and going to their son's room.

Michael just sat on the couch letting his mind wonder, thinking about Nikita.

_Nikita._

He missed her so much it was almost physically painful. The only thing that kept him from totally losing it was being close to his son. But still, he missed her like crazy.

Every single aspect of her.

The way her body fit perfectly with his, the smell of her hair, how soft her skin was against his touch, her smile, the musical sound of her voice, the way her long eyelashes framed her sparkling brown eyes, and mostly the sensation of pure joy he felt whenever she was around him.

His mind suddenly flashed from her angelical image to the broken girl who had left him the day before. Going back a few weeks, his mind showed him a memory of Belarus, when Nikita had asked him about Cassandra. The sadness in her face at the knowledge that he'd rejected her in Russia made his heart ache. The way she always looked so upset when he and Cassandra hugged each other, or even when they exchanged looks.

He remembered then how fragile Nikita was the week that followed; how much she'd cried. Next, he remembered her face when she told him about Max; the time when he, in the middle of the haze of knowing he had a son, had let go of her hand. Just now he realized how devastated she was in that moment.

Then it all went downhill after their last mission, when she had drugged him and they had had a fight. Even Birkhoff had noticed.

Thinking two days back when he'd yelled at her when he thought Cassandra had been thrown off a cliff, he replayed the scene on his mind. Just now he saw the hurt look on her face as she tried to justify why she hadn't listen to him.

At last his recognized how insensitive he'd been when he let go of her to help Cassandra after she was shot. The way she looked away from them, the saddened look in her eyes.

_Mixed signals. _

"I'm so stupid" he grunted to himself. How could he not notice it before?

"Penny for your thoughts" Cassandra entered the room, startling him.

"Where's Max?" he questioned.

"Doing his homework" she sat by his side again "Don't change the subject. What's on your mind?"

He sighed "Did I ever give you the impression that…" he mumbled "…about us and…" he motioned between the two of them with his hands "you know…the mixed signals?" he managed to blurt the words out.

"When I first saw you in Belarus, yes" she admitted "But after I saw you and Nikita together, I knew you didn't mean it"

He exhaled loudly in dissatisfaction "I screwed up, didn't I?"

"Well, as you friend, I would say no. You were confused and things got a little off hand" she told him " But as a woman, I would say yes. You really messed up"

"I shouldn't have let her go" he said, more to himself "I should've stopped her"

"Yes you should" Cassandra agreed "It's probably what she wanted you to do, you know. Chase after her, don't let her go".

Michael nervously ran his hands through his hair "And I failed her" he whispered, a new wave of sadness overcoming him "What do I do now, Cassandra?"

"Give her some time. Finding out the man you love has a child with someone else is a big deal and a lot to take in. You can't blame her for being hurt and confused"

His cellphone unexpectedly chimed, announcing a new text message. To his disappointment, it was from Birkhoff.

_Nikki is with me, and not doing so well. You screwed up, man. Stay away from her until you can get your shit together._

"Great" he grumbled, dialing his friend's number "Birkhoff, where's Nikita?" he asked as soon as the computer geek answered.

"Nice talking to you too, Mikey." The younger man snorted "Nikki is asleep, and even if she was awake, she wouldn't want to talk to you"

"Birkhoff listen to me…" Michael started but was soon cut off.

"No, you listen to me" Birkhoff answered in the angriest tone Michael had ever seen him use "Because of you and your lack of consideration towards her feelings, I had to deal with crying, and sobbing and whining. Nikki is like my sister and I hated to see her like that. Not to mention that I have the IQ of a bath sponge when it comes to girl talk and feelings and this kind of stuff, and still I had to find a way help her. So until you get your shit figured out, stay away from her" he barked "And tell Cassandra and Max I said hi" he added in a way softer tone.

Without another word, he hung up.

Michael sighed and turned back at the blonde woman staring at him "What do I do now, Cassandra?" he repeated his question.

She gave him a comforting smile "Give her some time. You love her and she loves you. You'll find your way back to each other. But until then" she turned around, going to the other room where Max was "why don't you go play puzzle with your son?"

Michael followed her, and sat on the floor by Max's side while Cassandra went to the kitchen. The father-son duo was quiet while putting together a few pieces of the 101 Dalmatians puzzle.

"Почему ты такой грустный? Ты скучаешь по ней?"(Why are you so sad? Do you miss her ?) Max asked, seeing the unhappy look on Michael's face.

"Да, скучаю"( Yes, I miss her) Michael admitted it.

"Не волнуйся. Она любит тебя и скоро вернется" (Don't worry. She loves you, she'll be back soon ) the blonde little boy said with a smile.

Michael couldn't help smiling back at him "Я надеюсь на это" (I hope so).

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><p><strong>AN**: Big thanks to **KethlinMil **for helping me with the Russian dialogue :)

Tell me your thoughts ;)


	5. Fair Trade

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I own nothing. Never have and never will.

**A/N**: Guys, I gotta say: THANK YOU SO MUCH! You guys have been so kind on your reviews and I couldn't be more grateful. It really means a lot to me! :)

So, back to the story.

I'll admit it, I had a little trouble writing a story for this week's episode. **So forgive my apparent writer's block**. If I can come up with something better this week, I'll post it to make it up for you.

**You guys know the drill with the grammar/coherence mistakes, right? :)**

This is set right after Nikita saves Birkhoff, and before their final scene when they're back home.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>"How come you can afford a helicopter but never occurred to you to get a medical insurance?" Nikita chided.<p>

Birkhoff closed his eyes at the sharp pain in his head "Well I was inside division for a long time, and when I finally got out of there, I never even had a cold" he answered "or got severely injured. I had other things in mind."

"You're lucky you have that much money, 'because otherwise you'd still be on an ER waiting room, and God knows what could have happened if you hadn't had immediate assistance and..." She started rambling.

"Nikki" he interrupted her in a low, calm tone "I'm fine now, breath okay?" he advised, seeing how shaken up she still was.

Nikita took a deep breath and sat in the chair by his bedside, exhausted.

"Nikki, relax… Look, you've been through a lot lately and I don't wanna add one more thing to your suffering. Please Nikki, I hate seeing you so miserable"

Nikita exhaled a laugh, drying the few tears that had formed in the corner of her eye "You're the one who's been through torture, including a needle almost draining you brain, and I'm the one you're worried about? God your priorities are screwed up"

"Well, you're the one going through a bad break up" he added in an humorous tone, and she reached for his hand " me on the other hand, I will be as good as new as soon as get out of this hospital"

"Well, I don't think you're getting out of here so soon. You're in a pretty bad shape"

He snorted "Gee, thanks Nikki. You're charming as usual"

She smiled, amused "Okay, you're getting cranky. I'll see if I can get you some more painkillers" she kissed the back of his hand and got up.

"Make them strong" Birkhoff said with a sigh, resting against the pillows and closing his eyes again.

He woke up at dawn, to see Nikita asleep curled up in the small couch on the corner of the room. He sighed in relief; at least she was getting some sleep. He knew she was having trouble sleeping, and the fact she was using her solo missions to get her mind off Michael really concerned him. But he smiled seeing she was there, safe and alive.

"Thanks for saving me, Nikki" he thanked her, even though he knew she probably wasn't listening. He would thank her properly later. He decided that for now it was enough, so he let sleep overcome him again.

When he woke up a couple of hours later she was already up, looking something up on one tablet.

Nikita put the tablet down and sighed, running a hand through her hair in aggravation.

Peering on what his friend was doing, he frowned at the sight of a picture of Michael and Max.

"Now you're a stalker, Nikki?" he asked, startling her.

"God, Birkhoff, you could have let me know you were awake" she complained.

However, he kept his inquisitive gaze. He was slightly worried she might be losing her sanity; she'd been suppressing her feelings for the past weeks, and now she was looking at pictures of her ex and his son for no apparent reason.

Birkhoff found it slightly alarming.

Nikita rolled her eyes "No, I'm not stalking them on street cam, nerd. Cassandra sent me this picture"

"So, you and Cassandra are friends now?" He questioned, arching one eyebrow. Why Nikita would talk to the woman who now lived with her ex-boyfriend was beyond his comprehension.

"Cassandra and I were never enemies" she stated, her tone apathetic "and we are not exactly friends either".

"So you're frenemies?" he questioned, getting one of the little jellies that were on the tray on the table next to his bed.

She gave him a mock-frown "What the hell does 'frenemie' even means?"

"Frenemies, you know…You guys are friends and at the same time you're enemies and…" he stopped mid-sentence when she chuckled "Never mind…why are you talking to her anyway?"

"I didn't. She did. We respect each other and she thought I would like to know how he was doing so…" she trailed off, her voice failing her.

"Did you?" he asked, but she just stared at him blankly "Wanted to know how he was?"

His question caught her off guard, and she felt her throat tighten and she thought of Michael and how much she missed him. Feeling tears forming in her eyes, Nikita bit her lip to prevent it from trembling.

She looked away from him "It doesn't matter what I want" she said with a loud sigh.

"Nikita, you gotta stop suppressing your feelings. All this pent up emotion it's harming you" he tried to make her understand.

"Birkhoff…" she pleaded, her voice a little shaky.

"No, Nikita. Listen to me. It's okay to _feel. _It's okay to miss him. It's okay to be sad. ..Just stop pretending it doesn't hurt you. Stop trying to be Wonder Woman or you'll just hurt yourself even more, both physically and emotionally" he saw the unshed tears in her eyes and gave her a comforting look "He'll come back to you. I know he will."

"What if he doesn't?" she questioned, her low voice almost breaking. She couldn't get her hopes up only to have them shattered later on.

"He loves you, Nikita"

She shook her head "You say that, but you didn't hear his voice when I called him last night" a tear ran down her cheek and she wiped it away, trying to remain composed "He just…didn't seem to care. At all"

She sounded so broken and upset Birkhoff felt his blood boil. Michael would pay for what he was doing to Nikita; he would make sure of that. Michael couldn't just hurt his "sister" like that.

"It hurts so badly…"she continued her rant "When I needed him the most he was just not there" she closed her eyes to prevent more tears from falling "I miss him so much"

"You can cry if you want" Birkhoff said in a sympathetic tone "I won't tell anybody, promise"

She gave him a sad smile as the tears streamed down her face "What would I do without you, nerd?"

He laughed "I bet your life would be much more boring".

She laughed and wiped her tears "Why don't I go find you something tastier than this jellies?" she asked getting up.

"That would be great" he conceded, knowing she just wanted a reason to leave the room and re-compose herself.

Before she left the room, he called her again.

"What?" she asked.

"Trust me, okay. He will be back. And if you want, I'll be happy to kick his sorry ass and make him beg for your forgiveness. Then you two can resume your relationship and turn my life back into a living hell with all the lovey-dovey annoying habits you yours. Okay?" he asked her "It will be fine, you'll see."

"Thanks nerd" With a small smile, she walked towards him and kissed his hair "I hope you're right"

* * *

><p>"I don't know what you did Mikey, but if she thought you didn't care about her, now she's sure of it" Birkhoff growled at his computer screen later that night; Nikita was home and he was alone with his computer. And a very distressed Michael.<p>

He could see Michael running his hands nervously over his hair.

"I didn't mean it" he said with a sigh "I just wanted to keep her focused. She was nervous and clearly upset for many reasons. And she had to save you! She wouldn't be able to do it if I let our personal problems get in the way"

Birkhoff snorted "Well, your personal problems was what got me in this situation in the first place. If you weren't such a jerk, she wouldn't need be on a crusade to hunt Oversight . She's only doing it so recklessly to get her mind off you!"

Michael narrowed his eyes "Do you think I like this? Do you think it was easy for me to listen to the anguish on her voice and not be able to do anything about it? Do you think it was easy for me to listen to her desperately scream at me for not being by her side and not being able to hold her and comfort her?" he barked at the computer screen.

Birkhoff remained silent for a few moments, now knowing how to proceed. He was angry at Michael for hurting Nikita, but he felt bad for his friend as well.

"How is she doing know?" Michael asked, eager to know if she was okay.

"She's calmer. But she's acting impulsively. Not only she's buying a fortune worth of clothes with my money, but's she's hunting the bad guys all by herself. I'm worried, Mikey. Her emotional is too confused, she's not 100% focused. And she will get hurt at some point" he sighed "I try talking to her, but I can't control her, you know that when she makes up her mind, there's not much I can do."

"This is getting out of hand" Michael closed his eyes in frustration "I'm glad she has you to look after her, though."

"I'm a good sidekick, Mikey. But we both know who she really needs" Birkhoff said.

Michael sighed again, conflicted.

"She's going after the other black box" he Birkhoff warned him "She won't be able to do it alone, so I'm telling you Michael, you better fix this" he added in a more serious tone " I don't care what you do, just fix it. Fast."

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><p><strong>AN**: As I said, not my best. But**_ if_ **I can think of a better story line in the middle of the week, I'll make it up for you then.

Anyway, tell me your thoughts!


	6. Guardians

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, which is a crying shame.

**A/N**: Hey guys. Again, thank you so much for the reviews. If I didn't answer to someone, I'm truly sorry, but this end of semester is driving me insane, and I have very little time.

But still, I squeezed a couple of hours to bring this new chapter to you. I hope you'll enjoy it.

**You guys know the drill about the grammar/coherence mistakes,** so…without further ado, I'll leave you to the story.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Nikita meticulously examined her cuticles as Michael drove them back to Owen's place. She wasn't ready to talk to him; she wasn't even ready fully to look at him.<p>

Though, it felt _so_ good to see him again. Even if it was only from the corner of her eye, every time she got a glimpse of him, that bubbly warm feeling spread through her body for a few seconds, making her heartbeat momentarily speed up.

"Are you okay?" Owen asked, interrupting her thoughts.

She nodded "Yeah, my wrists are a little sore and I have a splitting headache, but I'm okay. I've had much worse" She looked at him from the rear mirror.

Owen arched an eyebrow "You know that's not what I meant" he said giving her a stern look and then looking at Michael, who did not miss the look the ex-guardian gave him.

"Owen…" Nikita growled in a low voice.

Owen put his hands up in surrender "Fine, I'm sorry…Forget that I even asked"

Nikita sighed and rested her head against the window, letting out a small whimper of discomfort as the minor cut in her head touched the hard, cold glass.

"You sure you're not hurt?" Michael asked, concerned.

"Yeah, it's nothing. Don't worry" she guaranteed, closing her eyes for a moment.

Michael was going to contest her, but Owen did if first.

"You could have a concussion" he pointed out.

Michael looked back at the road, slightly angry Owen was sort of stealing his moment. _He_ should be the one to show more concern about her, not Owen.

Nikita gave them a small smile, still not opening her eyes "As much as I appreciate your genuine concern for my well-being, I can assure you I do not have a concussion or any life-threatening injury"

Owen smiled back, even though she didn't see it "Fine, but there's some veggie shake left in the fridge and you'll have it as soon as we get home. Deal?"

Nikita let out a low giggle "Sounds great"

Michael felt a wave of sorrow coming through his body as he saw the interaction between Owen and Nikita. Why was she giggling with Owen when the only thing _he_ got from her was a scared half smile?

Why was Owen making her food like if he was a househusband? Did she consider his place her _home_ now?

And why was he feeling so threatened and jealous when there was nothing between Owen and Nikita?

Or was there?

He questioned if that was how Nikita had felt when she saw him with Cassandra. This sudden unhappiness he got seeing them together, the uncertainty of not knowing what was happening between them, the feeling of being replaced, even though there was no romantic involvement between the two them.

Now he understood why she was so upset and torn: because it simply _hurts._

They fell back in silence until they got to Owen's apartment.

"You should rest" Owen advised her as soon as they entered the apartment.

Again, Michael was slightly angry Owen had stolen his line once more. How the hell was he supposed to show Nikita he still cared deeply about her if Owen was always ahead of him, worrying about her, trying to take care of her, making goddamn veggie shakes for her?

Nikita shook her head "What about I go and change and you work on that veggie shake"

Owen opened the fridge "So bossy…" he said rolling his eyes and then smiled.

Michael watched her disappear into one of the rooms.

"Make yourself home, man" Owen said sliding a bottle of water on the counter in Michael's direction.

"Thanks" Michael got the bottle and looked down at it, not really knowing what to do next.

As Owen got a blender and started mixing a few things in it, Michael looked up.

"Since when are you into vegan food?" he asked.

Owen chuckled "Since she tied me up in her bed for weeks and only fed me this things" he said matter-of-factly "I don't really like it, but I make an effort when she's around…You know, make sure she's eating right."

Michael frowned a little, not completely understanding him.

Realizing his confusion, Owen explained.

"I don't really have a lot of friends, you know. I just wanted to do something nice for her... And besides, I don't think your little hairy friend cares about her diet. I thought she might want a nice, decent vegan meal for a change. This really never crossed your mind? Just being nice and spoiling her a little?" Owen asked with a smirk.

Michael felt his anger increase in countless proportions "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he huffed.

But all his anger dissipated when Nikita walked back into the room, avoiding their discussion to go any further.

"You said there was some shake left, you didn't have to make it!" she chided, punching him lightly on the shoulder.

Owen laughed "It will only take a minute"

She rolled her eyes and stood next to Michael while Owen finished her shake.

"We gotta find Ari" she stated to no one in particular; she just wanted to fill in the silence.

Michael held her hand in his, eager for the feel of her skin against his again "We will" he promised.

She just stared at him for a few seconds, her mind hazed with the sudden contact, making her unable to react to him. She just dwelled on the warm feeling of his hand on hers, and on the fact he was actually _there_, so close she could smell his cologne. She missed him _so_ much.

He smiled at her and that was enough to snap her out of her trance; self-consciousness taking over her body, making her let go of his hand and look away.

Michael took a small step back, hurt she had rejected his touch.

Realizing the tension in the air, Owen interfered.

"Here you go" he said pouring the green liquid in a glass "the best veggie shake in town"

Nikita smiled, thankful for both the shake and the intervention on the uncomfortable moment. As she drank it, both man stared at her.

Owen had a concerned, protective gaze; he wondered if Michael being there would make more harm than good, or if his instincts were right and Michael would be the one to set the balance back in Nikita's life. It was hard for him to see her so broken and vulnerable; he just wanted her to be okay.

Michael on the other end, was simply delighted to be able to look at her again, to know she was alright, alive, sipping her veggie shake and without any major wounds. He missed her in every single way possible. Looking at her gave him the amazing feeling of calm and peace he had lost weeks ago when she left him in London.

Realizing all eyes on her, Nikita blushed in three shades of red and looked down at her drink, putting it down on the counter sheepishly, almost childlike.

"Maybe I should call and check on Birkhoff" she stated "He's still on anti-inflammatories and I really should check if he's taking them correctly"

"Nikita…" Michael started with a plea; he didn't want her to go away from him, even if it was only a few feet away.

"Go ahead and use my phone. It's a secure line" Owen conceded and she gave him a thankful smile before she left the room.

Michael looked at Owen with an impatient look.

"What?" he questioned "She clearly wanted a way out of the room"

Michael sighed "You're right" he agreed, suddenly feeling frustrated for uncountable reasons "How is she doing?"

Owen arched his eyebrows "Dou you think if she was okay, I'd have called you?"

"I'll take that as a _not very good_" he sighed, distressed.

"You're damn right! She's not good_ at all_" he added in a serious tone "she's far from being okay. Very far. Not only your break up hit her_ really_ hard, soon after that Amanda kidnapped your little bearded friend, now she's just tired and frustrated and…" he stopped mid-sentence, realizing it was not his place to tell Michael about her feelings. When she was ready, she had to be the one to tell him "Look, Michael you should really talk to her"

Michael sighed loudly, realizing by Owen's words how truly conflicted and scared Nikita was.

He wanted nothing more than comfort her, protect her and tell her the everything would be fine, that he would fix everything just to make her feel okay again.

Nikita walked back in the room and stood by the counter opposite to Michael, and the trio remained in silence for a few minutes; not knowing how to proceed or what to say.

Their current situation was somewhat uncomfortable for the three of them; Owen did not know how to be in the middle of the Michael-Nikita drama; Michael wanted nothing more than talk to Nikita in private and make things right again; and Nikita was in conflict with herself and both man who were so inevitably devoted to her.

"So…" Owen started, as a way to not let the uncomfortable silence establish itself over them "we need to get Ari and the guardian. Fast. I think I might have a way" he said walking towards his computer.

He wanted to keep a certain distance from Nikita and Michael to try and give them a chance to talk; maybe if Nikita talked to Michael, she would be calmer and in less emotional pain and distress.

He started running a search as the two agents remained in silence for a few more minutes.

"So, how's Max?" Nikita decided to ask, desperately trying to break the silence between them.

At the sudden conversation, Owen looked at the couple; at least they were talking. And that made him just a little bitter; whether it was jealousy or just an over-protectiveness of Nikita, he couldn't quite tell.

Michael looked up at Nikita "He's good" he started "He asked about you, actually. He called you 'Тетя спистолетом' "

Nikita gave him a small smile "The gun lady"

"Well, it made an impression" he conceded in a half humorous tone "How's Birkhoff?" he asked then, but immediately regretted it when a hurt look crossed her face.

He knew she still felt responsible for what happened to him.

"He's better" she said with a sad voice "He needs some time"

"Well, he's tough. Will be annoying the hell out of you in no time" he said in an attempt to ease her guilt.

But she only looked down, not convinced. Michael felt his heart nearly break.

"And you?" he asked looking carefully at her, he felt a little relived when she looked him in the eye for the first time since he'd come back "How are you?" he asked, the concern evident in his tone, the need to help her; to _love_ her; growing in his chest.

From across the room, Owen looked up from his computer to watch the couple, silent hoping Nikita would open up to Michael and not be so miserable anymore.

Nikita hesitated a little. At the same time she wanted to tell him everything that was pent up inside her; all her pain, her fears, her wishes, her feeling for him, her guilt; for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to do it. At least not now, not in the middle of Owen's kitchen, not when there was something more important that she should be doing.

So she limited herself to say only one, but still the strongest, emotion she was feeling.

"I'm…" she started, her voice trembling "glad to see you"

Owen watched the scene in silence, just wondering why she hadn't said to Michael the same things she had told him before. However, he did not speak his mind.

Michael realized how conflicted she really was; the vulnerability in her eyes, the way her voice was thick with tears, how in need of affection she was.

He then held her in his arms, trying his best to give her the sense of stability and comfort he knew she was so desperately seeking. He buried his face on her neck, losing himself on her scent, the smell of foreign soap mixed with her familiar perfume. He felt her soft skin warming up as his arms encircled around her, how she tightened her hold on him. He sighed in her ear, finally feeling complete after a long time.

Nikita felt her body relax a little with his warm breath on her neck and his strong arms around her, keeping her close, keeping her _safe._ Nikita had missed him, every little thing about him; and now he was there and for a moment all her troubles and thoughts dissipated from her mind, and all she could think, all she could feel and even breathe was Michael and Michael only; it was like if she didn't need anything else. And she didn't want that moment to end, she didn't want to let him go _ever_ again.

But to her dismay, she heard Owen say "We need to go".

And with that she wasn't in Michael's arms anymore, she was back to her painful reality.

She just hoped Michael would still be there when she was done with their next mission.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: Thanks again to the lovely **KethlinMil **for being my beta for the Russian dialogue :)

Tell me your thoughts, reviews are _always_ appreciated !


	7. Extra Chapter: Domestic Bliss

**Diclaimer:** I own nothing, obviously.

**A/N**: Hey guys. Thanks again for the wonderful reviews! So, this chapter is a bit different, okay? I came across this plot after re-watching Glass Houses, and the name of the chapter is a mention to that.

It's an extra that popped in my mind for the holidays. It's a bit too much fluffy and quite different from the chapters I usually write. But it's Christmas and I thought it would be nice to have a chapter with no drama. Characters might be a little out of character, so I apologize in advance.

I hope you guys like it, though :)

**Grammar/Coherence mistakes: the drill remains the same.**

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>"<em>And then what? We'd live happily ever after? Domestic bliss?"<em>

"_Stupid, right?"_

_**Nikita 01x20 – Glass Houses**_

A childish giggle brought Michael back to consciousness. He groaned, not wanting to wake up just yet. He kept his eyes closed for a few more minutes until he could feel someone's gaze on him.

"What do you want, Owen?" he grumbled.

When he heard the giggle again, he slowly opened his eyes and blinked a few times, trying to clear his vision from the drowsiness. Once everything came into focus, a blonde little boy was staring back at him with a smile.

"Max?" he frowned "What are you doing here? How did you get here?"

But his questions didn't have any effect on the little boy, who just laughed and sat on the couch across from him and waved.

"Wow kiddo, you ready? We are on Christmas tree duty today" Owen suddenly entered the room and ruffled Max's hair, who laughed again.

Michael sat up, confused "Owen? You brought him here? What the hell?" he inquired, but Owen seemed unaware of his presence.

Only then he perceived his surroundings; the clean white walls and high ceilings, the windows, the modern decoration. Shocked, he realized he definitely had not woken up in the same place where he'd fallen asleep the night before.

"Come on fellas, if we don't get this goddamn tree soon, Nikki and Alex will kill us" Birkhoff said, joining them in the room "Little guy, go find your father, we'll meet you in the car".

Max nodded "Kay" and went towards the corridor in an apparent search for Michael.

"Max, I'm right here" he said, but the boy didn't turn back. He sighed "Birkhoff, Owen where are we?" he questioned the two man, but they just left the room and again, no one answered him.

"Okay, either I'm going crazy or this is a really weird dream" Michael closed his eyes and kept them shut for a few minutes.

He opened them hoping everything would be back to normal. But to his disappointment, he was standing in the same place.

"What the hell is going on here?" he questioned as he walked through the hallways, looking for Max.

He found the boy sitting on a bed in one of the rooms "Max?" he called, and the boy smiled "Hey, can you see me?" the boy nodded "Good. Can you tell me where are we?"

Max looked at him, confused "Home"

"Home?" It was Michael's turn to look confused.

The boy nodded again.

"Max? Let's go, Uncle Owen and Uncle Birkhoff are waiting for us. Go say bye to Nikita and Alex" a voice said from inside the walk in closet. Michael could swear he recognized that voice.

It was _his _voice.

But before he could think deeper into that, Max got up the bed waving for him to follow.

Michael followed him downstairs to the living room, but stopped at the image of Nikita sitting in the couch with Alex, both of them surrounded by boxes and more boxes of Christmas ornaments.

As he stood a feet away from Nikita, Max kept walking and cheerfully jumped in the couch between Alex and Nikita.

"Hey sweetie. Are you guys off to the market?" she asked, caressing his cheek.

He nodded "Chistmas tee" he said with a smile.

"Christmas Tree" Alex corrected him gently "Choose the biggest and prettiest, okay?"

"Kay" Max nodded and kissed Alex's cheek.

"Don't I get a kiss?" Nikita asked, arching an eyebrow.

Max laughed and hugged Nikita, who covered him in kisses.

"Now I'm jealous" a hoarse voice said behind Michael. As he turned around searching for the familiar sound, Michael faced nothing other than _himself._

Surprised, Michael stepped away from him, and for a few moments all he could do was stare at this older version of himself, who passed by his side and smirked.

Michael questioned if his other self could see him.

"Hey buddy, remember what I told you?" the older Michael told Max "You have to be careful around Nikita because of the baby, okay?"

"Sory, papa" the little boy said with a pout.

Nikita frowned "He can hug me whenever he wants, he never hurt me or the baby, right Max?" Nikita asked the little boy who smiled at her and nodded "See, you're just jealous" she teased.

"Ohh, so he's your favorite guy now?" he asked, faking offense "Well, now I can only hope our daughter will like me, because the two of you…" he shook his head, laughing.

"We'll have to wait and see" Nikita said with a loving smile, caressing her six-month pregnant belly.

Michael smiled at her and kissed her quickly on the lips.

"Dude, are you coming or what? If we don't go now, there's no way we're getting a decent tree. It's Christmas Eve" Birkhoff said, suddenly walking into the room.

"Sorry, we're going" the elder Michael looked back at Nikita "I'll be right back"

Birkhoff held his hand out to Max "Come on champ, we have to find a tree before all the good ones are gone" Max kissed Nikita's cheek one more time before holding Birkhoff's hand.

"Bye bye" he said waving at the two girls.

"We won't be long" Michael said kissing Nikita's forehead, before following Birkhoff.

Once the trio was gone, Michael slowly approached the couch where Alex and Nikita were, fearing they could see him like Max.

As he stands right in front of them, the two women keep going through a few of the Christmas ornaments inside the boxes, unaware of his presence.

Realizing they couldn't see him either, Michael's attention fell back to Nikita.

Her long, mahogany hair fell around her face, framing her beautiful features. She was smiling; it was a genuine, happy smile that lit up her face completely.

Nikita slowly caressed her swollen stomach, carefully, cherishing it. He couldn't believe she was pregnant with his child. He wanted to touch her womb, to feel their child, to share that moment with her, even though he knew he couldn't.

She looked beautiful. He couldn't get over how pretty she was, sitting there, looking as serene and peaceful as he'd ever seen.

He wanted to kiss her so badly.

"Is Cassandra really okay with Max spending the holidays with you?" he heard Alex ask her.

"She wanted Max and us to bond before the baby comes. She believes he'll be more comfortable with sharing his 'papa' if he spends some time with me while I'm still pregnant."

Alex laughed "I think he'll have more trouble sharing his stepmom with the new baby. He absolutely adores you"

Nikita smiled "I know, but don't tell Michael"

The two girls laughed and Michael couldn't hold back a chuckle.

"Have you thought about names yet?" The younger girl asked, affectionately caressing Nikita's baby bump.

"A few…I thought about 'Sadie', but Michael really likes 'Joanne'. I think there's some special meaning to him, so I'm really inclined to accept" she said with a smile.

Michael felt his heart swell with love; Joanne was his mother's name.

"I like Joanne" Alex conceded "But I gotta admit, I had a suggestion for you" she said, a little coy.

Nikita smiled "Tell me"

"Aniya" Alex smiled "It means 'gracious'"

"Aniya" Nikita repeated, like if testing how it would sound "I like it"

"Think about it" Alex smiled again "Should we start making dinner?"

"Yeah, we probably should do that. Get ready for some fake turkey. If you guys get enough wine, it might taste real" she laughed.

As the duo headed to the kitchen, Michael followed them.

However, a half opened door on the second floor caught his attention. He went upstairs and slowly walked into the room.

It was still under construction; two of the four walls were painted in a very light tone of yellow. A white horizontal stripe crossed the walls in the middle, and little delicate flowers were draw there, just waiting to be painted.

He chuckled; it was just like Nikita to paint their daughter's room yellow or any other color instead of pink.

The floors were still covered in old newspaper, and by the little footprints in white paint, Michael knew Max had been trying to help them decorate the baby's room.

Looking around the room, a rush of emotions overtook him; happiness, joy, fulfillment, _pride._

_Was __that __really __happening?_ Michael questioned himself. He wanted it to be real, he wanted all those things.

Leaving the room and looking at the hallway, Michael was drawn to explore the other rooms. He got into the room next to the nursery and instantly recognized it as Max's room.

It was blue and decorated with sports gear all over the walls, and an uncountable amount of toys scattered around the floor.

A picture by the nightstand caught his attention; it was a picture of him and Max apparently at a stadium, both of them were laughing and Max had his face all covered in ice-cream.

"So you're a sports fan as well, huh?" Michael said with a smile, his fingers lightly touching the photo frame.

With that smile still plastered of him face, Michael left Max's room and headed to the first room on the hallway, the one room he had been before, but didn't had the time to look around.

Entering what was his room with Nikita, he looked around taking in all the details in the room which he hadn't noticed earlier when he'd been there with Max.

The room was fresh, bright and still incredibly cozy; he was sure Nikita had handled all the decoration.

The walls were clean, only adorned by the curtains covering the windows. The most luxurious thing in the whole room was probably the closet and Nikita's dressing table. Other than that there was only an simple armchair with a side table by the corner of the room, and the two nightstand guarding their bed.

As in Max's room, both nightstands had a lamp and a collection of framed photographs.

Michael never took Nikita for the kind of person who liked to have millions of pictures around the house, but apparently she was. Or at least in the bedrooms.

Pushing a few of Nikita's pregnancy books aside, he reached for one of the photo frames.

The first picture was of himself and Nikita.

Looking at it closely, he assumed it was a wedding picture. The couple staring back at him from the picture seemed in total wedding bliss, smiling like they were the happiest couple in the world.

_And __we __probably __were_, Michael thought with a smile. He was wearing a light blue shirt and she had a strapless champagne dress on.

Simple and beautiful.

The next picture consisted of him, Nikita, Max and Cassandra. Michael was slightly surprised Nikita would have a picture of Cassandra by her bedside. It was a birthday picture, Max's birthday specifically. Max was blowing his seven candles and Cassandra had her arms around her son. Standing by the other side were him and Nikita, happily cheering for the little boy.

It was adorable.

Moving by his side of the bed, another two pictures were on his nightstand; one picture was of Max, sitting on the front steps of a house, with the most endearing smile. The next picture showed him, Nikita and Max sitting in the living room he'd been only a few moments ago.

He knew it was a recent picture because Nikita's small baby bump was already showing.

"God, let this be real" he whispered, clutching the picture.

As he heard loud chatter coming from downstairs, he placed the picture back in the nightstand and carefully walked out of the room and down the hall, looking for the cheerful voices.

Michael walked down stairs, the smell of food and baked goods in the air. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, Max waved at him from across the room where he was going through the ornaments with Birkhoff.

Alex and Owen were trying to place the tree on the stand while Michael and Nikita were trying to untangle the Christmas lights.

"This time next year, we'll have a nine month old little girl crawling around in this mess" the elder Michael whispered to Nikita, who smiled warmly. She placed his hand on the spot were the baby had just kicked her, and the couple shared a smile when their little girl kicked again.

"Can't hardly wait." she said, resting her head on his shoulder. Michael kissed her hair before looking up to the younger version of himself staring from across the room, and giving him a knowing look.

"Okay, tree is secure" Owen announced "Let the decoration begin"

Max clapped his hands excitedly as he and Birkhoff started hanging all kinds of ornaments on the tree.

Michael watched the six of them gleefully adorn the tree with colorful ornaments and sparkling lights. He let out a contented sigh, watching the small but amazing family he'd apparently created for himself.

"Come on, buddy" older Michael called his son "You get to put the star on the top" he said hoisting the boy up over his head so he could reach and place the star on the top of the Christmas tree.

Max carefully placed the silver star and looked down, smiling at his father.

"Well done" Michael praised him and put him down.

As they got distracted with settling the table for dinner, older Michael stealthily walked towards his younger self, standing by his side and looking at his family.

"She's amazing, isn't she?" He asked, looking at Nikita.

Michael nodded "Yeah, she is" he said with a smile, thinking about how much he loved and _missed_ her.

"It will be a long way until you get here, you know" elder Michael said, looking sideways to Michael "But it's all worth it, I swear"

Michael snickered "Are you telling me this is all real?" he said, disbelieving his own words.

"Ohh it is real, you'll see" older Michael said with a smirk "I'm living proof of it" he looked at Nikita one more time and his smile grew wider "and so is she".

"_When it comes to planning ahead for positive outcomes, I'm just not used to it._

_It does not mean I don't want one. It's just...It's been a long time since anything as good as you has happened in my life"_

_**Nikita 1x20 – Glass Houses**_

A loud bang woke Michael up. His eyes snapped open with pain.

"Wow man, are you okay?" Owen asked from across the van. They were sleeping on the back of the van, hoping to close up on Ari on soon.

"I'm fine, I guess I just hit my head on the wall in my sleep" Michael groaned in distress "I had the weirdest dream" he commented.

Owen arched an eyebrow.

Michael rested against the wall, bemused "Can't remember it, though."

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: So, yeah, too much fluff, I know. .

In case it was a little bit confusing: I decided to leave the ending to your imagination; if you like to believe Michael actually saw a glimpse of his future, great! But if you think that's nonsense and prefers to believe it was just a dream, that's great too. Your choice :)

I particularly like the idea that he saw his future, but that's just me!

By the way, the line : "Get ready for some fake turkey. If you guys get enough wine, it might taste real" was based on Maggie's tweet on thanksgiving. I love her sense of humor.

Ohh, and in this story, little Max is learning some English, he understands it but can't speak so well yet. As you may have noticed, I love little Max!

Good? Bad? Tell me if you think Michael was just dreaming or not. I really want to know what you think about this chapter! :)

**And happy holidays, guys!**

~Rose.


	8. Pale Fire

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Never have and never will.

**A/N:** Hey guys! Again, thank you so much for the reviews! They made me really happy.

So…I admit it, this chapter was a little hard for me to write, I had a huge writer's block problem, so it's probably not my best, I'm sorry.

I believe that after the last episode, Nikita and Alex are bonding again, so here it goes, this chapter basically shows Nikita and Alex relationship, and I apologize in advance if you think they're out of character.

Ahh,** _it's not a slash,_** by the way.

I'm also writing this at 1:48am, so bear with me if there are many mistakes and you had to read some nonsense.

When you find any grammar coherence mistakes, you know what to do (:

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>"You're worried" Birkhoff stated.<p>

Nikita sighed "Yes, I am" she admitted "Aren't you?"

"I am…It's just Alex is a strong girl, you know. She's been through worse"

"I know…but I think this hit her really hard" Nikita bit on her thumb nail, distressed "I mean, her mother and the man who ordered her father's _murder_"

Birkhoff nodded his agreement "I know, and that's sick and disturbing… but you gotta admit she's been through a lot since a very young age. That somehow made her stronger"

Nikita shook her head "Yeah but…she's just nineteen. She tries to act all grown up but really, she's just kid" she sighed "I remember when I was her age. All I wanted was a sense of security, you know. And not having that…it's just not easy at all"

"Well, she's not completely alone" Birkhoff put a comforting hand on her shoulder "If you're that worried, go check on her"

"But what if she doesn't want to see anybody?"

"Then she'll say 'leave me alone', and you go away. Simple as that" he said matter-of-factly "Grab some towels as an excuse to knock on her door or something"

"You're right, I should go check on her" Nikita said getting up the couch.

Birkhoff nodded "And I should go to a grocery store. I bet you and Alex don't wanna live out of take-out food like me" he said getting up as well.

Nikita went upstairs as Birkhoff left. She grabbed a set of towels on the hallway closet and approached Alex's room.

Slowly, she knocked on the door.

"Alex?" she called in a concerned, low tone. The girl didn't answer, so she knocked again.

Still not getting a response from her, Nikita took a deep breath and touched the doorknob. Alex didn't exactly said she could come in, but she didn't asked her to go away either.

Hesitantly, Nikita pushed the door open a little, just enough to peek inside of the room and give the young girl a chance to send her away if she wished.

But Alex didn't say a word, so Nikita slowly walked into the room.

Alex was lying in bed hugging a pillow to her chest and resting her head against it. Her eyes looked up to her former trainer as she entered the room.

"Hey…" Nikita whispered "I brought you some towels in case you wanna take a shower. I'll bring you some of my clothes as well if you want."

"Thanks" she muttered "I appreciate it"

Alex didn't like to be seen in such a vulnerable state, but at that moment she didn't care. Besides, it was _Nikita_. In her present situation, Nikita was the closest thing to a friend she had.

Nikita placed the towels on the end of the bed; her eyes never leaving Alex. She looked so tired it was very unsettling for Nikita to see her like that.

"If you need anything, my room is in the end of the hallway, okay?" Nikita said in her gentlest tone.

Alex just nodded into her pillow and blew out a painful sigh.

"You okay?" Nikita asked, a new shadow of worry crossing her features.

The young girl squeezed her eyes shut, whimpering in discomfort "Yeah, I'm a little nauseous but I guess it's just jet-lag"

Out of instinct, Nikita approached her and pressed her palm to Alex's forehead "You have a fever" she said with a worried look.

Alex shuddered "It's nothing"

"Alex, you're burning up" she pushed Alex's hair off her face "Why don't you take a shower, it will make you feel better"

Alex shook her head "No…I'm so tired" she wept "I just wanna sleep"

"You'll sleep better if the fever is down. Come on" she said, helping her up "You go, and I'll bring you some clothes."

Alex sighed and gave Nikita a sad look, her lips trembling.

"Hey…" Nikita slowly approached her and uncertainly pulled the girl into a hug.

Alex laid her head on her sensei's shoulder and let the tears she had been holding back fall freely.

"All this time…m-my mother…I never knew…" she whined, unable to form a coherent sentence in between her sobs.

"I know, Alex…I know. It's not your fault" Nikita soothed her; tightening her hold on the girl.

Alex sniffled, and Nikita gently let go of her "You're gonna be fine, okay? You're the strongest person I know. You can get through this" she guaranteed, affectionately putting a strand of Alex's hair behind her ear.

Alex nodded her understanding and headed to the bathroom while Nikita went to her room and selected a few clothes from her closet.

She headed back to Alex's room and smiled to herself when she heard the shower running; at least her fever would lower. She placed the folded clothes on the bed and went to the kitchen.

"How's our little Anastasia doing?" Birkhoff asked as he walked in the kitchen, holding lots of groceries.

Nikita got three mugs and put them on the counter "Not so good" she admitted "She has a fever. It's probably emotional, but still" she sighed "I feel so bad for her"

Birkhoff started taking the groceries out of the paper bags "Well, you're doing what you can. I'm sure she'll be fine in a few days"

"I hope so" she said while looking into the cupboards "Do you have any tea?"

"On the top shelf" he said while putting the kettle on to boil "Do you think Sergei is coming after her?"

Nikita shook her head "I don't think so. If Alex stay away from them, I don't think he'll harm her. He wouldn't do that to Katya, Alex is still her daughter after all"

Birkhoff frowned "I don't know…from what you said, her mom is a little crazy. And they think Alex was brainwashed"

"Still, I don't think they'll hurt her…At least I hope not. The last thing she needs is another target on her back"

Birkhoff nodded "I hope you're right, Nikki. I hope you're right"

Nikita filled the three mugs with steaming hot tea and pushed one towards Birkhoff.

"I should take this to Alex" she said picking up the other mug "Do you have any non-narcotic painkillers?"

"There's Paracetamol on the bathroom cabinet"

"Thanks" Nikita said, heading upstairs. She got a couple of pills and headed to Alex's room.

The girl was sitting on the bed, struggling to hold the hair brush with her injured hand.

"Need any help?" Nikita asked, putting the cup of tea and the pills down on the nightstand.

Alex shook her head "No, it's okay. I can pretend to be left handed for a few minutes" she said holding the brush with her other hand, but failing to untangle the knots on the ends of her hair.

"Can I?" Nikita asked, seeing her trouble in the simple task of brushing her hair.

The girl handed her the brush and Nikita sat beside her on the bed.

Nikita started to slowly brush her hair, carefully trying to untangle the ends without hurting her.

"Do you think she knew it?" Alex suddenly asked, breaking the silence.

"Knew what?" Nikita asked, even though she was sure of what Alex was talking about.

"My mother" she clarified "Do you think she knew about Sergei's plan to kill my father and I?"

Nikita ran a hand through Alex's hair, trying to reassure her. She knew by the tone in the girl's voice she was trying to hold back her tears.

"I don't know" Nikita admitted "But your mother would never hurt you on purpose"

"Wouldn't she?" she questioned whit a sigh.

Nikita saw thick tears forming on her protégé's eyes and instinctively touched the girl's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Your mother really loves you, Alex" Nikita assured her; she refused to believe Katya would ever purposely hurt her only daughter.

One single tear ran down Alex's cheek, and she quickly wiped it, not wanting Nikita to see her crying.

Again, Nikita instinctively felt like comforting her, but was at a loss of words and actions when she heard the girl's whispered words.

"The way she loved my father?" Alex silently questioned.

"Alex…" Nikita started, but was silent again when she realized she didn't have any arguments; something that didn't usually happened to her "Don't think about that now, okay?" she advised, running the brush through the girl's long hair.

Alex just nodded, and they fell silent again.

Nikita finished brushing Alex's hair and put the brush down "There you go" she said with a comforting smile.

"Thanks" Alex said with a thankful look.

"There's chamomile tea" Nikita pointed to the mug on the nightstand "and an analgesic. It will help you sleep"

Alex sat in the middle of the bed and reached for the pills and the cup of tea. She took the pills and drowned them down with the tea.

"How's your head?" Nikita asked, looking at the cut on her forehead.

"It's a little sore, but I had worse" Alex said, and Nikita smiled at how Alex sounded so much like her.

The girl put the tea cup down on the nightstand and sank into her pillows.

"Are you going to be okay?" Nikita asked, worried.

Alex nodded "Yeah, I guess so"

"You sure?" Nikita asked, sitting on the bed.

Alex let out a humorless laugh "No"

Ethereally, Nikita brushed a few strands of Alex's hair off her face "You're going to be okay, Alex. We'll figure things out, I promise" she said, her hand still stroking the young girl's hair in an attempt to soothe her "Now rest, okay?" she said, kissing the girl's forehead.

Alex nodded and closed her eyes.

Nikita was heading out the door when Alex called her again.

"Nikita?" she called, and the former Division agent turned around and looked at her "Thank you"

Nikita smiled "That's what I'm here for"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** So, I think Nikita and Alex have a big sister- little sister connection, but sometimes I also think they have a mother-daughter thing, and that's what I tried to portrait here. Again, I'm sorry if it's out of character. I blame my writer's block.

Thanks for reading and please, leave me a review telling me your opinion.

~R.


	9. Sanctuary

**Disclaimer:** Still own nothing. Never have and sadly never will.

**A/N:** Hey guys! Thank you for the lovely reviews!

I apologize to the ones who were waiting for a Mikita chapter, but "Pale Fire" didn't actually give me enough material on Michael and Nikita to build a decent chapter.

Again, I'm sorry I disappointed you.

This chapter is very short because juts as "Pale Fire", "Sanctuary" only gave us one Mikita scene, so again I don't have much to work with. I'm so, so sorry.

But I tried my best, so I hope you like it.

You know what to do in case you find grammar/coherence mistakes, right?

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>"Heads up" Birkhoff said as his computer started beeping "We got someone at the gate"<p>

"It's Michael" Nikita said descending the stairs, her heart pounding erratically against his chest.

Birkhoff and Alex looked at her, like if expecting her to react more to Michael's arrival. But thought she was very nervous on the inside, her features remained calm and serene. The duo exchanged a quick, amused look before the computer technician hit the button, unlocking the front door.

She watched as he walked in, and her heart skipped a beat; it was so good to see him again, even though he hadn't noticed her presence yet.

He seemed relieved to see Birkhoff was okay, and when she smiled at their interaction their eyes briefly met, sending chills down her spine.

She kept quiet as he walked towards Alex, and tough she was too nervous to actually pay attention to what they were talking, she noticed the change on the girl's demeanor as Michael approached her; Alex seemed somehow, defensive.

But all her thoughts vanished when she heard her name being said, and suddenly, his eyes were completely on her. Their gazes met again and she gave him a small, shy smile as he smiled back at her with a charming smirk.

With a small chuckle, Alex broke the moment "I'm gonna let you two talk" she said heading towards the beach.

As Alex, Birkhoff realized his cue to leave "I got that…thing to check on too" he said walking out of the kitchen, leaving them alone for the first time in months.

She slowly walked down the remaining steps of the stairs, standing in front of him. None of them spoke immediately; Michael tried to articulate his thoughts into words but failed, so he just gave her a small smile. Subconsciously, Nikita felt mildly hurt he didn't hug her or displayed his affection in any way.

Too anxious to stand the silence, she decided to start talking all she'd been rehearsing for the past couple of days.

"Look, Michael, what I did in London…I did what I always do. I made the decision for you and…"

"Hey, no, it's okay" Michael interrupted her "I needed some time" he said, making her stomach turn into knots.

A wave of panic spread through her body; was he trying to say that he didn't care she left? The thought that maybe he'd rather be in London with Max and Cassandra than being with her hurt her so deeply she had to use every ounce of her self-control not to cry. Now her heart was thudding so hard she wondered if he could hear it.

"I've gotten to know Max now. He's a bright kid. And he's starting to know me" he continued, apparently unaware of her distress "But even when we were…I don't know, in the park, kicking around a soccer ball, I found myself looking over my shoulder, wondering if Division were to come after us again, and I can't live like that"

Swallowing the lump on her throat, she whispered "I don't think anyone can live like that" she averted his gaze.

"We have to end this fight that we're in, once and for all" he said in a serious tone.

"We beat them and then…then what?" she asked, uncertain. When Michael had said he wanted to talk about where they stood, this was not what she had in mind. She wondered if he missed her at all; since he'd started talking, all she heard was the word I, never the word us.

"What do you mean?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

Frustrated, Nikita sighed and crossed her arms on her chest, turning away from him.

"What do I mean?" she echoed his question, her voice trembling "you said you wanted to talk about us. But all I hear is about you."

He sighed "Nikita…"

"No! Don't 'Nikita' me, okay?" she said, turning around again to stare at him "Just answer my question: we beat them, and then _what_, Michael? What happens to_ us_ then?" she didn't scream, she didn't altered her tone. She just asked the question that had been lingering between them.

Seeing Michael's hesitation in answering her, Nikita bit her lips to prevent them from trembling.

He was about to say something to her when the sound of shattered glass echoed loudly in the room. Instinctively the former agents ducked, and Michael reflexively pulled Nikita to his chest.

"Are you okay?" he asked, worried she might have been shot.

She nodded "Yeah, I'm fine"

Relief flooded through him and he tightened his hold on her, laying a soft kiss on her forehead.

Nikita took a deep breath and relaxed in his arms; she wasn't sure where she and Michael stood, but for now, she was just happy that some feelings never change.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** So... I told this was short. Anyway, I kind of re-wrote the scene, because I thought it lacked emotion on the show. Plus I'm a little angry at Michael (as you may have noticed), 'cause I thought he was a little too cold with her, it didn't feel like he was actually trying to work things up with Nikita, he did seemed a little selfish to me, only talking about he and Max and not once mentioning them as a couple. I might be wrong, but that's what I felt. I hope he makes up to her in the future.

But the good thing is, the more time they spend apart, the hotter their make up will be ;)

So, tell me what you think. Reviews are** love**!

~R.


	10. Clean Sweep

**Disclaimer:** As you'd expect: I own nothing, which is a crying shame.

**A/N**: Hey guys. Thank you all for the reviews, the favorites and the story alerts. **Last chapter I got my 100th review milestone! Thank you SO MUCH, I wouldn't have gone this far with this story if it wasn't for you ! It meant the world to me :)**

Sorry it took me this long to post the new chapter, but I've been a little busy. Anyway, here it is now, and I hope you like it.

At the sight of any grammar mistakes, you know what to do.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>The beach house was enveloped in a deep silence as the two utterly weary agents stood in the living room after long couple of days.<p>

Birkhoff was nowhere to be seen and Alex was still on her way back from Division, which left Michael and Nikita completely alone in the large room.

Nikita sat on the couch and exhaled loudly, feeling drained. Not only was she feeling exhausted but she couldn't take Percy's words out of her head. She knew she was just unnecessarily overthinking things, but she just couldn't help herself, it was stronger than her.

"You should rest" Michael's voice echoed in the empty room, making it sound more intense than he'd hoped "You look tired"

Using the very last ounce of sense of humor she had left, Nikita forced a smirk.

"Well, thank you. You look charming as usual" she humorlessly laughed "I'm waiting for Alex. I wanna be sure she's okay"

Michael nodded his understanding "Goodnight then"

"Goodnight" she murmured, her voice only above a whisper.

Nikita sat alone in the living room for what seemed like hours, her thoughts only on Daniel.

_Daniel - _she sighed, feeling her throat tightening and tears forming in her eyes.

It had been so long since the last time she'd thought about him it made her feel terribly guilty. She knew deep down she'd never forget him, but she felt anguished at how easy was_ not_ thinking about him.

She was terrified at the idea of forgetting the only man that had ever loved her unconditionally. It hurt to think about him, yes. But it was no reason to forget him.

"_Do you two talk much about Daniel? It must be a little awkward since you knew about the kill order and didn't warned her"_

Percy's voice echoed in her mind, making her stomach turn into a knot.

She did realize that they often talked about Elizabeth and Haley; and then later on about Cassandra and Max; but they never actually talked about Daniel.

It was not like Michael didn't allowed her to talk about him, it was just she rarely felt comfortable to talk about Daniel with Michael.

Whether it was because she was just apprehensive about it or because the mood often shifted when she mentioned the subject, she couldn't quite tell.

The only few times she felt like she needed to share a thought or a memory about him, Michael would find a way of turning the subject for him and Elizabeth.

Now, with Percy's words constantly floating in her mind, she wondered if he did that on purpose.

_No_ - she thought to herself_ - Owen told the truth, Michael didn't knew about the kill order._

_Or did he?_

The idea, as absurd as it was, haunted her. The possibility that Michael might actually have known about Daniel's kill order and had deliberately not warned her just made her nauseous.

She didn't want to believe Michael would do such thing.

Not to her, not at the expense of an innocent life. Not her Daniel's life.

Nikita trusted Michael with all she had, but she couldn't deny that deep down, a little part of her trust was starting to falter.

She pushed her thoughts aside and wiped her tears away as she heard Alex coming in.

"Nikita?" the young girl asked, looking at her watch "Its 4am, how are you even awake after all that was going on?"

Nikita smiled at her protégé's concern for her well-being.

"Just wanted to make sure you were okay. Birkhoff told me about your little encounter with Roan"

"I'm okay, really. But that was a close one"

Nikita tenderly brushed Alex's hair "I'm just glad you're okay"

Alex smiled warmly at Nikita's genuine feeling towards her.

"I'm glad we're all safe…for now at least" she said with a sigh.

"Yeah, for now" Nikita agreed, worry darkening her features.

"Are you coming up?" Alex asked, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and heading towards the stairs.

"In a minute" she nodded.

Alex furrowed her brows, sensing that something was bothering Nikita.

"Is everything alright?" she asked, turning back to look into her sensei's eyes.

"I'm fine" Nikita guaranteed "Just tired" she said lamely

Alex arched an eyebrow, not fooled.

"Liar" she said knowingly.

Nikita let out a loud sigh, closing her eyes in distress.

"Fine you don't need to tell me" the young girl conceded, not wanting to add to Nikita's distress "But if you need to talk…you know where I'll be"

Nikita gave her a thankful smile and watched the girl disappear up stairs before grabbing a bottle of wine.

* * *

><p>Michael rolled in his bed again, knowing there was no way in the world he would get some sleep that night, no matter how weary he was after the long couple of days he'd had.<p>

He squeezed his eyes shut trying to empty his mind, but it was useless; his head was still spinning with mental pictures of Nikita and Owen together.

He tried not to think about it, but every time his mind cleared for a few seconds, soon Percy's voice invaded his thoughts.

"_Does Michael know the truth about you and Owen?"_

He groaned, burying his face into the pillow. Michael knew it was stupid, but his mind couldn't help forming images of them together. They were from the most innocent ones; sipping veggie shakes, having dinner, going for a walk in the park; to the most disturbing ones where they were kissing and running their hands all over each other.

Frustrated at how his mind could form such vivid images, he got up the bed and went to the bathroom, splashing cold water on his face, desperately trying to control his thoughts.

He went downstairs on a quest for some hard liquor, and was surprised to see Nikita sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the dark empty room.

Michael knew she was deep in thought so he slowly approached her trying not to startle her, but failed miserably, causing her to almost throw her half-finished glass on wine at him.

"God, Michael. Don't sneak up on me like that" she chided, her heart still racing.

"I'm sorry" he immediately apologized "I wasn't sneaking up on you. I just didn't expected anybody else to be up at this hour"

Running a hand through her hair, she sighed "it's okay"

He gave her a questioning look "Why are you awake at this time in the morning, by the way?"

Nikita humorlessly chuckled, looking up at him "I could ask you the same thing"

He gave her a small smirk "Point taken" he said as he watched her finish her wine "Do you have any more of that?" he said looking at the empty glass.

"Right here" she said reaching for the bottle of wine on the table and waving it gently "help yourself"

Michael found himself a glass and after he poured some wine, he sat in the armchair by her left.

The duo remained quiet, neither mentioning the big fat elephant sitting in the room with them.

But they knew it. They knew exactly what was going on each other's minds.

Still, not a single word was spoken as neither of them was ready to face each other, whether their assumptions were valid or not.

Nikita knew Michael was having doubts about whether or not she'd been romantically involved with Owen, the same way Michael knew Nikita was silently torturing herself with the thought that maybe he did know about Daniel's kill order.

But again, nothing was said about it.

Their relationship was already in very thin ice, and they knew a discussion like this would only crack it. And they both also knew they couldn't afford to lose each other. They loved each other too much.

So the young couple just accepted the hand they were dealt, which for that night meant silence and wine.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: So, that's it. I didn't say if Percy's accusations were true or not, because I really wanna know how they are going to deal with this on the show.

Just for the record, the part where I mention that Nikita and Michael didn't talk about Daniel, is because I had the impression since season 1 that they only portrait how Michael was affected by his family's death, and they kind of forget that Nikita also lost someone really dear to her, her only actual family (as he was her fiancée). So that was my way of interpreting this. Sorry if you thought that is was nonsense.

Anyway, thanks for reading and tell me what you think :)


	11. Rogue

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. And never will.

**A/N:** Hey guys :) Thanks for all the lovely reviews! I'm so glad you guys are sticking with me through this story. I couldn't have made it without your support.

So, this chapter was a challenge for me. I started with one idea, and finished it with a totally different thing from what I had planned.

So this is really not my best, so I apologize in advance.

Grammar coherence mistakes, you know the drill.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Michael sat in the end of the stairs that led from the house down to the beach and silently looked around, spotting Nikita only a few feet away from him.<p>

Though he did want to check to see how she was holding up he refrained from doing so knowing she probably wanted some time to herself. He knew how her past was a very sensible subject for her and he didn't want to aggravate her distress.

For several minutes, he just sat there looking over her from a distance, like some sort of guardian angel. He watched as she walked towards the water, taking deep breaths. He watched as she paced around in circles, trying to control her tears. He watched as she kicked the sand in an attempt to take out her anger.

But when she finally sat down on the cold sand and pulled her knees up to her chest, Michael got up from his spot on the stairs and walked towards his beautiful broken girl, sitting by her side.

She briefly looked up at him with sad eyes before she folded her arms over her knees and rested her head on top of them. Realizing how sensitive she was, he thought about pulling her into a hug, but didn't know if it would be appropriate given their situation, so he put a comforting hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

For a long time, neither of them spoke anything. Silence was becoming a normal thing between them. It was an odd, but rather pleasant silence; though they couldn't bring themselves to talk much, at least they still had each other's company. So they remained in silence.

Silence which was broke when Michael realized she hadn't said a word in a long time, and he worried she might have gone into some sort of shock.

"Hey" he whispered, taking her out of her trance. She looked up at him, her beautiful brown eyes filled with melancholy. Nikita sighed heavily and a single tear streamed down her face.

"Come here" he said as he pulled her closer, not minding that they relationship status was still pretty messed up; she needed his comforting and he wouldn't deny it.

Nikita let him hold and buried her face into his neck. She was reaching a breaking point and needed a sense of safety to keep her from losing it completely. And Michael was the only one who could give her the sense of stability and the comforting she needed, regardless of how shaken up their relationship had been for the past few months.

Through it all, she knew he was the only one who could make her feel safe, and she was more than thankful that this hadn't changed, not matter how much both of them had screwed up.

Michael's soft voice tried to reassure her "We'll figure things out" he said, running his fingers through her raven hair "Don't over think this, it's not worth it. Just calm down, okay?"

Eventually, she did calmed down and he loosened his grip on her, giving her some space. She took a calming breath and looked at him.

"I feel so…_betrayed_" she wailed, swallowing her tears "Why does this things keep happening, Michael? It's just one thing after another, always making things harder for us. I can never catch a break, it never gets easier!" she cried "I'm just so tired; I want all of this to be over"

He gently stroked her hair, unconsciously thrilled to be able to affectionately touch her after so long.

"I know" he whispered "I want this to be over too, so we can move on with our lives. You just need to hang in there for a little bit more so we can make things right"

She shook her head, exhausted

"No" she whined "I'm too tired. It's Percy, and Amanda, and Gogol and now Carla…it's just too overwhelming. I can't do this anymore, Michael" she admitted, her voice thick with tears.

Michael tried to think about what to say to comfort her, but words failed him when the sobs started rocking her petite body.

Nikita hid her face on her hands failing to hold back her tears for much longer.

"Nikita, calm down…" he tried to sooth her "you'll make yourself sick"

But she didn't calm down, and Michael felt anguished to see her so broken. He drew her closer to him with her back against his chest, his arms closing tight around her.

She was startled at the sudden contact but he calmed her down, tightening his arms around her

"It's okay" he whispered "close your eyes"

"What?" she questioned, confused.

He gave her a small smile "Trust me, okay?" he loosed his grip a little so she'd be more comfortable "now close your eyes"

Nikita did as she was told and reluctantly closed her eyes, grasping his arm for a reassurance she didn't quite understand why she needed.

"Now, empty your mind" he coached her, his voice low and calm.

Nikita scoffed "If only it was this easy"

"At least try it" he added in a more serious tone.

She took a deep breath a tried to focus in anything but the chaos in her mind.

"Don't think about anything else but this moment, okay?" He instructed her, gently caressing her hand that still had a death grip on his arm "What do you feel?"

"I fell…" she sighed, unsure "the warm rays on sun on my skin?"

"What else?" he encouraged her.

"I can hear the sound of the waves, crashing in the shore. I can hear the birds chirping" she continued, and he smiled when he noticed her hand slowly release its hold on his arm.

"Now, go to a happy memory. Any memory" he instructed next.

Her mind hazed and took her back almost twenty years.

She was at a beach at the age of seven; her foster mom was sitting on the sand by her side. They were trying to build a sandcastle together and once they were done with their masterpiece, they walked hand in hand on the shore, picking up little shells that later they used to decorate they sandcastle.

Nikita smiled, feeling the soft sand and remembering one of the few happy moments she had while in foster care.

The memory vanished as a more recent one started forming in her head. It was from only a couple of years ago, when she first found Alex.

They were playing Jenga, game in which Alex sucked when she first met Nikita. The young girl would always make the tower fall down after only three turns.

But it didn't matter how much Alex sucked, it was their thing, their way of bonding with each other; they'd play almost every night after they were done with training.

One night, Alex managed to take four blocks from the tower, which was a milestone for her. The look of delight on the girl's face made Nikita smile as well. After she repeatedly squealed "I did it! I did it!" she threw herself at Nikita, hugging her tightly and accidentally knocking the tower down. Alex looked at the blocks scattered around the floor and suddenly seemed at the verge of tears. But instead, she burst into laughter, making Nikita laugh as well. They laughed so hard they were almost out of breath, and when they finally recomposed themselves, instead of re-starting the game, they decided to build a castle out of Jenga blocks.

Nikita chuckled at the memory.

"What's on your mind?" Michael asked, curious about what had made her laugh.

She slowly opened her eyes and shook her head, amused

"No big deal. Just Alex and I playing Jenga" she smiled "You told me to think about a happy memory, and I think the best memories I have are simple like that. Playing Jenga with a friend, or maybe the times Birkhoff flicked his peas at me from across the table, because he didn't want them of just to make me laugh. Or the nights we spent watching old movies in a motel room. These are good memories, I'll cherish them forever"

As she went on and on about her other many memories; some of when she was a little girl, some with Alex, some with Daniel, some Birkhoff, and even some from her recruit times. But mostly there were memories of them together.

She didn't exactly mention his name most of the times, but her remembered them too, so he knew who she was talking about. He thought it was kind of cute; the way she didn't even need to tell him she was talking about them, like if their connection was so strong these kinds of specifications were not necessary.

As she talked, he realized she melted into him, relaxing in his arms like if it was the most natural thing in the world.

She rested her head on his shoulder and slightly tilted her head so she could look at him.

"How did you learn to do that, by the way?" she questioned

"Do what?"

"This relaxing thing you just did to me" she clarified "It was the most peaceful moment I've had in months"

Michael looked down at his hands "When we moved to Yemen, Hayley started having night terrors" he said, and sighed at the memory of his daughter "Elizabeth and I tried everything, but had no luck. This technique was the only thing that made her calm down" he finally looked up at her "Apparently it still works" he gave her a sad smile.

Nikita turned around to fully look at him, and tenderly stroked his face "Thank you, I needed that" she said sincerely.

"Are you feeling any better?"

She nodded, smiling "Yeah, much better"

He gave her a cocky grin "I told you to trust me. I knew it was going to work"

She laughed, reaching for his hand.

"That's not the only thing you were right about" she laced her fingers with his "you were right before, too"

Michael gave her a confused look "What do you mean?"

"About Division" she clarified, her eyes meeting his "there was something good about it. It brought me to you"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Yeah, I know...it's a weird chapter. I'm so sorry. But I missed a more intimate Mikita moment. I know it sucked, though. I'll try to make it up for you on the next one :)

Anyway, leave me a review and tell me what you think.

Thank you so much for reading!

~Rose.


	12. Extra Chapter: As Ready as I'll Ever Be

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I own nothing. Never have and never will.

**A/N:** Hey guys! Again, thank you for all the amazing reviews!

**I apologize for the lack of updates**. But not only I couldn't write anything decent for the last episode, but also my classes just started again, and I had neither the time or the inspiration to write.

**I'm soo sorry!**

But to get us through the hiatus, I wrote this Extra Chapter. I hope you like it.

Grammar/ coherence mistakes: you know the drill

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>"You wanted to see me, Michael?" Alex asked as soon as he opened the door.<p>

Michael smiled at her "Yes, come on in"

Alex smiled back at him and entered the room, sitting on an armchair carefully trying not to wrinkle her navy blue cocktail dress.

"Is everything okay?" she asked as he sat on the couch across from her.

"Yeah, everything is fine. Just wanted to talk to you for a moment"

"About what?" she gave him a questioning look.

"About Nikita" he said matter-of-factly.

Alex arched an eyebrow "Okay…what is it?"

"I just wanna make sure you're okay with the new…_changes_" he said carefully "I don't want you to see me as the evil stepfather "

Though Alex knew he was being serious, she couldn't help but mock him "What would Nikita said if she knew you just said she has a 22-year-old Russian daughter?"

Michael chuckled but soon his expression was serious again, and he stared at the young girl's eyes " I know how much you mean to her, Alex. And you mean _a lot_" he emphasized and Alex's heart swelled "And I know how much she means to you as well, right?"

"Yeah, she does mean a lot to me" she said warmly.

"And with me moving in and you moving out, I just wanted to make sure you're okay with that" he clarified.

Alex nodded "Yeah, sure. I'm fine"

Michael furrowed his brows, not fooled.

"No…it's fine. Seriously, I'm fine…it's just a couple of blocks away. It's fine, it's really fine" she stated.

Michael narrowed his eyes.

"I said 'fine' too many times, didn't I?" she asked, biting down on her lip.

He nodded "Yep…"

Alex exhaled a laugh "Am I that obvious?" she asked lamely.

"Not really. I'm just very well trained in reading people" he said with a smirk.

Alex arched an eyebrow, not impressed "I can read people too, you know?"

Michael rolled his eyes in mockery "I have at least 10 more years of experience than you, kiddo"

"Is that so?" she asked mischievously.

He nodded "Yes, it is"

"So the ever-so-cool Michael thinks a _kid_ like me won't notice the way he's nervously bouncing his knee?" At that, Michael stopped the absentminded action "You really think I can't tell that under this perfectly nonchalant expression there's a groom with pre-wedding jitters?" she asked, a smirk splaying on her face as Michael blushed crimson.

She laughed and he released the air he hadn't realized he was holding.

"Call it even?" she asked playfully.

He gave her a nervous chuckle "Yeah, I guess so"

Alex nodded "Good…I should go then. Make sure Nikita is ready in time, or whatever it is made of honors do" she said walking to the door.

"Alex?" Michael called her before she could leave the room "Are you really okay about this?"

The brunette nodded "Yeah, why wouldn't I? You make her happy, and that's good enough for me" she smiled "Nikita deserves to be happy"

Michael smiled "Thank you Alex. It means a lot to me"

She smiled again and went towards the door, but before she could reach the doorknob a wave of realization went through her, making her stop before opening the door.

"Michael?" she said nervously, fidgeting with her fingers "I know you two need your space and all but…please don't take her completely away from me, okay?" she pleaded, suddenly realizing the depth of what Michael was trying to say.

But Michael just gave her a comforting smile "Don't worry, Alex. I could never to that to either of you"

He winked at her and she laughed, wiping a few unwanted tears from the corner of her eye.

"Can I ask you one more thing?" she said, now nervously fiddling with the silver bracelet around her wrist.

"Sure" he conceded.

"When you have kids of your own…could you make sure she doesn't forget about her 22-year-old surrogate daughter?" she asked, biting her lower lip to prevent it from trembling.

Michael gave Alex a warm look "That won't be necessary" he guaranteed "I know she loves you _very _much. That won't change."

Alex couldn't hold back that one single tear that ran down her cheek.

"Dammit!" she half cried, half laughed as she tried to prevent her flawless make up to be ruined.

When she recomposed herself, she asked "Can you not tell Nikita about that? I feel very stupid."

Michael chuckled "As long as you don't tell her her fiancée had cold feet"

Alex laughed "I won't. Unless you leave her at the altar. Because then I'd have to explain to her why I had to hunt you down and kick your ass"

"That won't be necessary either" he assured her with a chuckle "I wouldn't leave her for anything in the world. Nothing is going to stop me from marrying Nikita today"

"I know" Alex said with a bright smile.

When she was about to leave the room, Alex threw over her shoulder "But just so you know, I_ can_ kick some serious ass."

* * *

><p>"Nikita?" Alex called her as she walked into the hotel room.<p>

"Over here, Alex" came the quiet reply.

Apprehensive, the young girl approached her sensei's room and carefully pushed the door open, just to find Nikita lying on the floor with her eyes closed, burying both her hands in her hair at sides of her head.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked, worried.

Nikita didn't open her eyes when she moaned a 'No' as an answer.

"Are you feeling ill?" she asked, alarmed at the possibility.

"No" Nikita answered again.

Alex frowned "Then what's wrong?" she asked, trying to understand what was happening.

"I'm getting married today, you knew that?" Nikita muttered, now hiding her face with her hands.

Alex couldn't hold back a laugh "Ohh, really? I did not know that" she said in a sarcastic tone.

"Well, I am" sighed loudly in distress, ignoring the girl's mockery.

Realizing how nervous she really was Alex laid on the floor next to Nikita; her worry about the dress all but forgotten.

Alex looked up at the withe ceiling for a few moments, waiting to see if Nikita would say something. When she didn't, Alex had to force the issue.

"Come on…Spill it" she said in a fake demanding tone "We kind of have a wedding to attend this afternoon"

Nikita sighed again, slowly removing her hands from her face and finally opening her eyes, also focusing on the ceiling.  
>"What if we are making a mistake?" she questioned with a whine.<p>

Alex snorted "You can't be serious" she exclaimed.

Nikita shook her head "I mean it, Alex. What if after we get married, we realize that it's not meant to be?"

Alex narrowed her eyes "Okay, you lost me. How can you say that after all that you have been through together? It's obvious you two are meant to be" she stated simply.

"You don't get it" Nikita said.

"I don't. You gotta give me something here, Nikita. 'Cause really don't get it" Alex admitted

Nikita took a deep breath "Michael is a family man. What if after we get married, he realizes I'm not the right woman for him? I've been junkie Nikita, and then recruit Nikita, agent Nikita, rogue Nikita… but housewife Nikita? I don't think I can do that" he rambled nervously "Because that's just not the girl he's marrying. What if he doesn't know that yet, and when he eventually does…"

"Wow, wow, wow… stop right there"Alex chuckled "God, who are you and what did you do with the real Nikita?" the young girl interrupted her "You're being absurd!"

Nikita exhaled "Am I?"

"Yes, you are" Alex rolled on her side so she could look at Nikita "Michael doesn't expect you to be a perfect housewife. He knows_ exactly_ the kind of girl he's marrying. And he loves you exactly like that."

Nikita looked at the young girl who had grown to mean so much to her "You really think so?" she questioned.

"I don't think so… know so" she smiled "Nikita, anyone who knows the two of you the way I do just know it's meant to be. You are _Michael and Nikita_. It's just…right, you know? He knows that. You should know that… 'cause everybody knows that"

Nikita gave Alex a thankful smile.

"You know…I think the problem here is just that there is a bride who's really nervous she has to walk down the aisle in T-minus 2 hours" Alex said with a smirk "And that's why she's not even close to being ready"

"I'm not nervous" Nikita denied "And I've already showered and blew my hair dry"

"Yeah, because that's all a bride needs on her wedding day" Alex teased " You're so nervous!"

"No I'm not" she insisted.

"Ohh, but you are"

"Alex, I'm not!"

"_Yes, you a-are_!" Alex crooned

Nikita laughed and sighed "Fine…Maybe I am a little nervous" she conceded.

Alex put her arms up in a gesture of victory "I knew it!" she laughed.

Nikita smiled again, finally feeling relaxed "Thanks, Alex" she said softly.

"Anytime" the younger woman said with a wink "Let's get you ready, then?"

Alex helped Nikita up and they proceeded to get Nikita ready for the weeding. She steamed the dress while Nikita worked on her make-up.

"You have nothing to worry about you know" Alex said as she worked on Nikita's dress "You guys are perfect for each other"

Nikita chuckled and put her powder brush down.

"I don't know about perfection…But it surely feels right" she smiled and resumed to working on her make up.

They remained in silence for a few moments; Nikita finished her makeup and Alex un-wrinkled the dress.

Alex nodded "I'm gonna miss this, you know?" she said sincerely.

Nikita looked at her from the mirror and gave her a confused look.

"This… spending time together just the two of us" Alex clarified.

Nikita turned around to fully look at her "Just because I'm getting married, it doesn't mean things will change between us"

Alex sighed "Except they _are_ going to change, Nikita"

"I'll be just a few blocks away" Nikita said in a tender voice "Besides, aren't you excited to be moving in with Sean?" she teased.

Alex rolled her eyes "Why do you guys always make it sound like we are dating?" she questioned, slightly irritated "Birkhoff is going to live there too"

Nikita smirked "Your room is right next to his"

"It has a better view" the girl stated, annoyed.

She put the steamer down and sat on the bed. Realizing she was upset, Nikita sat by her side and pulled her into a side hug.

"Look Alex… You know how much you mean to me. You're more than just a girl a saved on a mission. You're not just my partner or my protégée. You are much more than that" she let go of her to look deeply into her eyes "Remember when I told you were in a safe place?"

Alex just nodded, not trusting her voice.

"I meant it. Not by that house or any other. I meant here" Nikita said putting her hand over her heart "That will never change, I promise. I'll always be here, you have nothing to worry about" she guaranteed.

Alex nodded again and Nikita's eyes filled with tears as she saw the ones on Alex's blue eyes.

"I'm really happy for you" the young girl said sincerely "After all you've been through, you deserve to be happy. I know Michael loves you dearly. I think it's great you have him, Nikita. It's wonderful you have each other. I wish you all the happiness in the world"

"Ohh, Alex" Nikita pulled Alex into a tight hug "I love you"

Alex smiled "I love you too" she said, her voice thick with tears. "I'm so silly…Let's skip the crying, okay?" Alex said with a laugh, wiping her tears " Because otherwise, we'll ruin our make-ups."

"Yeah, that's a good idea" Nikita agreed, drying her own tears before they could fall.

Alex smiled at her "Let's do you hair then?"

It was simple; like the whole wedding itself.

Alex put Nikita's hair into a half pony-tail, a few withe flowers concealing it at the crown of her head. The strapless dress was in a bright, champagne tone, making a beautiful contrast against Nikita's olive skin.

"So?" Nikita asked, turning around after Alex had zipped her up "How do I look?" she asked nervously.

Alex smiled "You look perfect"

Nikita took a deep breath and smiled "Now I just have to get married"

As on cue, there was a knock on the door.

* * *

><p>From a small gap between the doors, Nikita watched as Alex walked down the aisle and stood by the altar.<p>

She took a deep breath as she felt Birkhoff's hand on her shoulder.

"Your turn, Nikki" he announced with a smile.

She took another deep breath as she hooked her arm on his "Well, let's do this"

The doors slowly opened revealing the room, and right on the center by the altar was Michael, looking at her with the most beautiful smile she'd ever seen.

"Are you ready?" the computer technician asked before they could take their first step down the aisle.

Nikita nodded, a bright smile spreading on her face "As ready as I'll ever be"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** And that's it. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Let me know if there are many mistakes, it's 4am in the morning and my vision is becoming a little blurry by now.

**And again, I'm really sorry if I disappointed you guys (both with the lack of updates or with this chapter). I'll try not to do it anymore, okay?**

Anyway, tell me what you think ;)


	13. Double Cross

**Disclaimer:** As you guys probably figured out, I own absolutely nothing.

**A/N:** Hey guys. Thanks again for the lovely reviews, I'm so grateful for you guys being so supportive, even when I disappoint you (like I did with last chapter). Thank you so much for sticking with me :) **It truly means a lot to me.**

**Grammar/Coherence mistakes**, you guy know what to do. On this chapter it will probably have a lot of mistakes (and missing words, doc manager loves to do this to me), but it's 3 am (I know, but it's the only time I have to write) and these mistakes are just bound to happen. I promise I'll re-read it tomorrow and fix them.

So...

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>They watched in silence as the fire crept through the picture, crumbling it into a pile of dark ashes. Michael felt anger spread through his body as the image of his son disappeared on the fire.<p>

It wasn't fair. Not to him, not to Max, not to Cassandra and not to Nikita.

He knew finding a picture of Max and Cassandra on her things had hurt her like a sharp knife to her heart. But he couldn't help it.

He loved his son.

He also loved Nikita, but apparently because of fate's twisted sense of humor, he couldn't have them both.

And now, after weeks of awkwardness and lots of unspoken feelings, he could feel a wall forming between them.

Since they'd found out about Max, she'd been understanding and supportive no matter what. But he knew it hurt her. He knew he had hurt her back in London, and even before that with his overprotectiveness of Cassandra.

Even though she was hurt, she kept supporting him no matter what; putting everything before her real feelings. But after months of doing so, she was getting exhausted and frustrated, and with all the constant drama on her life, she was starting to lose it.

And from the picture on her suitcase, to Ryan's rescue and Carla's death, that day was the last drop. All her calm and understanding was starting fade.

It made him so angry that he was one of the reasons of her misery. It wasn't supposed to be that way.

He sighed as the last of the photograph turned into ashes.

A single tear ran down Nikita's face as she swept the ashes into the sink, turning on the tap to dissolve the remaining vestiges of the picture.

Michael wondered if her tears were just a reflex from the emotional roller-coaster she'd been put through recently, or if she was really that hurt only by the image of Cassandra and Max.

"That's better" she said with a heavy sigh, wiping her tears away and turning away from Michael, heading to the living room.

He could hear the sorrow on her words, and it concerned him. Michael knew she had been suppressing her feelings for a long time now. It was just a matter of time before she snapped.

"What's that supposed to mean, Nikita?" Michael questioned, furrowing his brows.

He hated pressuring her, but they had to talk about it. Nikita needed to put it all out. She had to give him a chance to explain, a chance to tell her how he felt, that he didn't mean for things to turn out this way. Things had been so hectic on their lives for the past weeks they hadn't had the time or the will to talk about them, about their relationship.

And all the things that remained unspoken for all this time were only creating a distance between them.

"What? What are you saying?" she asked, feeling drained.

He knew she was being defensive; he knew she didn't want to talk about it.

But they _had_ to. It was the only way for them to work things out, and finally, hopefully, be back together.

"I think you know what I'm talking about" he looked into her eyes "So I'll stick with my question from earlier: are we still talking about the picture?" he pressured her again. He had to know.

She sighed, exhausted "Not now, Michael" she pleaded

"Nikita…" he insisted "We should talk about this…"

"I said _NOT NOW_!" she yelled, her eyes swelling with angry tears. Michael took a step back, giving her some space, not wanting to upset her anymore that he already had.

Nikita closed her eyes, frustrated. She took in a shaky breath and left the kitchen. Michael felt his heart ache; every time he tried to do the right thing, he ended up hurting someone.

And lately this someone was usually Nikita.

* * *

><p>The air in the beach house was heavy, dark, and almost unbearable. The sun was setting, giving the big room a dramatic look.<p>

Michael sat at the bottom of the stairs, trying to keep his distance from Nikita, knowing he had hurt her earlier, and not wanting to do it again.

Ryan was half asleep on the couch; sometimes he'd jump awake and look around the room searching for Nikita, who would give him a sad smile.

Birkhoff was just sitting on the couch next to Nikita; his eyes far away in a traumatized expression. He'd squeeze Nikita's hand from time to time in an unspoken request for her reassurance. She'd kiss his hair or lean to rest her head on his shoulder, like she'd grown accustomed to do since she came back from London.

"You should get some sleep" she said gently kissing Birkhoff's hand.

The young nerd just shook his head "I don't think I can, Nikki"

"Try it" she advised gently.

He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment.

"You should follow your own advice" Ryan said giving her a small smile "You could use some rest"

"Maybe you're right" she whispered "Maybe we should all get some sleep"

"In that case I'll have to find that painkillers I have left from my injuries" Birkhoff said as he got up the couch.

"These are very strong pills" Nikita said, alarmed "Promise me you won't do anything…"

"Stupid?" he supplied for her, his face twisting in a hurt expression "I think there's a limit of stupid things you can do in one day, Nikki. And I used all mine"

Nikita looked down "I didn't mean it this way"

The computer technician sighed heavily "I know… I'm sorry" he closed his eyes in frustration "I'll be okay, don't worry" he guaranteed and kissed her forehead.

When he left the room, Nikita and Michael exchanged glances; for the first time after hours; and Michael got the message.

"I'll check up on him" he said getting up "Are you two coming up?"

"Yeah, we'll be right there" Ryan assured.

Ignoring the hint of jealousy going through his body, he nodded and disappeared up stairs.

Nikita and Ryan; alone for the first time since he'd been back; remained quiet for a few minutes, before Nikita broke the silence.

"I thought I had lost you" she mumbled, tears forming in her eyes.

"Yeah, I know" he moved to sit next to her "But you didn't. I'm still here"

The brunette nodded "Yes, you are" she whispered, her voice thick with tears.

Ryan realized how shaken up she was, and pulled her into a hug.

He held her while she cried, the sobs rocking her petite frame. He remained silent, just rubbing soothing circles on her back.

After half an hour, she finally calmed down, and he gently wiped her tears.

"So, I'm sure all these tears aren't just for me" he joked, trying to lighten the mood. He was happy he got a half smile for her "Tell me what's going on"

She let out a painful sigh "It's everything" she said in a tortured, sad tone "I completely lost control of my life, Ryan. I don't know what to do. Percy is still free, Amanda is still commanding Division, Gogol is trying to kill me, Alex's is in Russia" she stopped to catch her breath "You're back, Carla died, and Michael…"

New tears streamed down her face.

"Hey…" he tilted her chin up "I get it that it has been hard for you. But you're the strongest person I know. You'll make it out of this"

She shook her head "I don't know, Ryan… I'm just so tired. Everyday something happens. There's always something aggravating my already messed up life. I can't take it anymore"

"Yes you can…You're Nikita" he said with a smile "If someone can make it out of all this, it's you"

She gave him a thankful smile.

"I can't do it on my own, though"

"Well, you're not alone" he said "You have me. And Birkhoff, and Alex and Michael"

Ryan noticed pain crossing her features when he mentioned Michael.

"Are you and Michael…?" he questioned, trying to get some context on the recent events.

"Some stuff happened recently. We are…" she swallowed the lump on her throat "I don't even know where we stand"

Ryan squeezed her hand gently "I'm sure you guys will figure things out"

Nikita shook her head "I don't think we will" she sniffed "It seems to me that we are in a situation that _can't_ be fixed. He had to make a choice, and this choice does_ not_ include me."

"But he's still here" Ryan pointed out.

"He's not here for me" Nikita sobbed "I really lost him, Ryan"

"You'll be fine, Nikita" Ryan guaranteed, pulling her into his arms again.

Nikita sighed and closed her eyes, but though she knew Ryan's words were sincere and that he was genuinely trying to comfort her, he was _not_ Michael. Only Michael could make her feel better.

She didn't feel relaxed when she was in Ryan's arms as she was in Michael's. She didn't get that warm, fuzzy feeling. Ryan's heartbeats didn't soothe her like Michael's.

She didn't feel as safe.

Yes, she was thankful to have a friend like Ryan.

But he was not her Michael.

* * *

><p>From the top of the stairs Michael just watched them; he felt like talking to her, explaining to her that she hadn't lost him.<p>

But he knew he had no place in that conversation.

He just wished she'd talk to him like she had talked to Birkhoff, to Owen and now to Ryan. She didn't thought she could, she thought she'd lost him.

Again, he couldn't help but feel jealous of Ryan; he knew the CIA agent was just trying to be supportive, but there was something about the all the hugging going on between them that made Michael really bitter.

Powerless, he decided that going to bed was the only reasonable option for him. But of course, he couldn't sleep.

And he doubted that someone in that house actually could.

After rolling in bed for a couple of hours, he got up to check on his nerdy friend, only to find him groggily sleeping.

Alex's room's door was closed, so he figured Ryan was already asleep.

But Michael could see from under the door that Nikita's room had its lights on. He thought about knocking to check up on her as well, knowing her hysteria usually happened at night, but he refrained from doing so, not wanting to bother her.

He headed downstairs to get a glass of water, and when he came back up, he could hear a low whining coming from her room.

Alarmed, he pushed the door open without a second thought, only to find her on the floor, pressing a gauze to her wounded abdomen.

"What happened?" he asked, worried.

"I had a nightmare. I must have tossed and turned in my sleep. When I woke up I was bleeding" she gasped.

He shook his head, distressed "I told you needed stiches" he said with a sigh.

Without giving her any time to protest, he scooped her up in his arms and placed her gently on the bed.

"Let me see" he said trying to remove the gauze, but she didn't let him.

"I'm fine" she said, closing her yes at the sharp pain.

Michael looked deeply into her eyes.

"No, you're not" he said seriously.

Nikita wondered if he meant only the wound, or if he actually realized her suffering. His eyes were staring so deeply into hers; carrying such concern and tenderness at the same time she moved her hand away, allowing him to help her.

"Let's stich you up, okay?" he said with a hint of s smile.

Michael tried his best to make it less painful possible, and every time she hissed he'd apologize. Nikita watched him in silence, wondering what was going through his mind, and at the same time marveling at his presence.

This was the closest they'd been lately, and even though he _was _giving her stiches, she liked to have him around.

"You okay?" he asked, snapping her off her thoughts.

She nodded "It's just stiches"

He shook his head "That's not what I meant" he looked up at her "I mean with everything that happened with Birkhoff and Carla"

She sighed heavily and he immediately regretted asking her. However, she answered him anyway.

"She was the closest thing to a mother I ever had" she said closing her eyes to avoid more tears; she'd cried enough for one day "It's hard to think she's gone" she took a deep breath "We've been apart for so long…but knowing I'll never see her again is just…"

"Too much to handle" he supplied for her.

"Yeah…" agreed, a tear running down her face.

Michael looked up at her again, feeling his hart sink at the sight of her tears.

"I really am sorry" he said honestly.

She gave him a sad smile "Thank you"

They fell silent again as he finished stitching her up.

"You'll be as good as new soon" he said pulling her pajama tops back down, and Nikita felt a jolt of energy were his hands had touched her.

Out of instinct, he grabbed her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, and she felt a warm, tingling sensation spreading through her body. It always happened when he touched her affectionately, and it never failed to make her heart swell.

She'd missed that sensation so much.

Michael kissed her head before whispering 'good night'.

But before he could let go of her hand, she squeezed his hand back, stopping him.

"Stay with me?" she asked with pleading eyes "I don't wanna be alone tonight"

He looked at her like if trying to figure out if she had actually said those words.

She remained silent, not repeating her question. But when they eyes locked, they spoke volumes. There was a connection between them as all the things they couldn't manage to verbalize were there, flickering in their eyes ; all their fears, all their insecurities, all the emotion, all their sorrow, but most importantly, all their love that was still there.

And in a matter of minutes, they were side by side on the bed, both immersed in a light, but dreamless sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Characters might be a little OOC (Nikita most specifically) , and I apologize fro that.

Soo...tell me what you think ;)

Thank you so much for reading!

~Rose.


	14. Arising

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I own nothing. Which really sucks for me.

**A/N:** Hey guys. Again, thank you so much for the lovely reviews!

So, as you might have realized it, this story is coming to an end. I might make the final chapter out of this week's "Power", but if it doesn't give me Mikita scenes to work with, I'll make one of my own.

I wanna thank all of you who read this story and stick with me during de whole time (and through all my writer's block ). I would never have made through 14 chapters if it wasn't for all your support.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Ohh, the grammar/coherence mistakes, the drill remains the same :)

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Nikita always thought the best perk about having a billionaire as a best friend was; apart from the millions worth of clothing she was allowed to buy; he had a private jet.<p>

They could leave at any time they wanted, no waiting in line, no small hallways, no bad seats. They didn't have to endure people disturbing their peace; there was no kids crying or yelling, nobody sneezing, snoring or talking.

It was amazing.

But as she watched Michael sitting there hiding his face on his hands, it didn't feel so amazing. She wished there was something; a noise, anything; to distract them both. But there wasn't.

The silent sound of the engine or the wind flying through the aircraft were not enough to brake the melancholic air that had settled upon them since they left.

Michael's mind was wondering in between the happy memories he'd had with his son; playing soccer with him on the park, helping him with his homework, playing puzzles or putting him to bed; all the trivialities like going to a grocery store or trying to make him eat his broccoli. He remembered that at that occasion he'd thought Nikita would be the best person to convince Max to eat his veggies.

But now all of that was gone and his mind was filled with the disappointed look on his son's eyes.

He'd failed his kid again. He'd failed Hailey and now he'd failed Max. And that thought only made an excruciating pain curse through his body.

He felt so worthless and powerless and those feeling were eating him up inside. Nikita rubs his arm comfortingly.

He let out a painful sigh, and looks down when he whispers to her.

"It's not fair" he voice breaks at the last word "To any of us"

Nikita, sitting by his side, felt her eyes swelling with tears at the sadness in his voice.

"I know" she agrees "I'm so sorry Michael"

He gives her a thankful look and closes his eyes in frustration. He rests against his seat, utterly spent.

Nikita kept watching him, wondering if he's going to say anything else. When he didn't, she kissed his forehead gently and walked away to check the plane's control panel.

Michael watched her disappear into the pilot's cabin. He knew she was just trying to give him some space, leaving him alone and not forcing him to talk to her unless he wished; which he appreciated. But as he watched her leave he desperately _missed_ her.

Yes, he knew they were in a confined space and she couldn't go any farther than that, but though he didn't actually felt like talking, he wanted her near him. He never wanted to let her go again.

He closed his eyes again, not knowing exactly what he was feeling. His mind was spinning; at the same time he knew he'd done the right thing for Max, it felt insanely wrong. At the same time he wanted to be with him, he couldn't fathom being away from Nikita anymore.

He then felt her presence, and though he didn't knew exactly where she was, he knew she was there, and that alone pacified his heart.

Michael finally looked up, spotting her a few feet away from him in the corridor. He reached his hand out to her, his eyes silently pleading for her affection. She crossed the small distance between them and held his hand as she sat by his side.

He stared at her and she felt her heart ache at the sight of the unshed tears gleaming in his hazel eyes. Nikita gently stroked his cheek and he closed his eyes as he leaned into her touch, eager for the reassuring contact only she could provide him.

Nikita kissed his hair and Michael sighed.

She knew he was in pain. She knew how hard it was for him, having to leave his son and not having any kind of contact with him. At least not until they were done with Division; and only God knows how long that could take.

She didn't try to reassure him, though. She refrained from telling him everything was going to be okay, because she knows he will never be actually _okay_ with walking out of Max's life.

However she does try to soothe him.

Nikita lets him hold her hand and squeeze it as many times as he want. She rubs circles on the back of his hand, trying to get his tension off. She runs her hand through his hair, knowing he loved when she did that, even if he never voiced his preference.

But for half of the time they spend on the plane, they don't talk much. It's a silent, yet comforting sort of thing. It doesn't really bother her, but deep down she just wishes he'd say something.

It's only when she wakes up a few hours later, to find him staring intently at her, that she asks him the same thing he had asked her months ago in Belarus, when all of this first started.

"Talk to me, Michael" she whispers.

He looks deeply into her eyes and sighs again.

"I wonder if he will ever forgive me" he admits, his voice trembling.

"He will. I know he will" she guarantees him "He knows you love him very much. He'll understand that wherever it is you did, you only did it because you love him."

"How can you be so sure?" he questions.

She smiles at him

"Because, he's an amazing boy" she states simply "He's smart, he's sweet and caring" she looks up at him "Just like his father"

Michael's lips twitch up in a hint of a smile and she brushes her hand gently on his face and up to his hair.

"He'll understand, Michael" she states with a smile "Besides, when we are over with this fight against Division, you can go look for him"

"If we can finish this fight" he sighed again "If we can't, I'll never see him again".

Nikita felt her throat tighten with tears. Seeing him so unhappy made a pang of guilt shot through her.

She wondered if he regretted his choice, if he wished he'd gone with Cassandra and Max instead of her.

She wondered if she was worth all the pain he was going through, if maybe it wouldn't have been better if he'd stayed with his son.

The thought brought back all the pain and agony she'd been suppressing for the past few weeks, and one single tear slipped down her face.

Noticing the shades of painful emotions crossing her beautiful features, Michael just knew what was going on inside her head.

"Don't" he said gently, wiping her tears away.

Nikita swallowed back a few tears that threatened to fall.

"What?" she questioned, her voice not as calm as she'd hoped.

For the first time in days, he chuckled. Michael knew her well enough to know what she was thinking.

He knew his loving, caring girl would think that, because that's just who she was, it was a part of Nikita.

"That thought you're having" he clarified "Don't. I don't regret the choice I made" he said.

"But Max is your son" she whispered.

"Yes he is. But as much as I love him, I can be away from him. I _have_ to" he sighed "I don't want to, but I can manage that" he looked into her eyes "But there's no way I can stay away from you"

New tears formed in her eyes "Michael…"

"How could you not know that yet?" he exhaled a humorless laugh "Nikita, I love you. I _need _you. Every time I was with Max, I was happy to be with him, but I was never 100% happy…because _you_ weren't there. And I can't be happy without you. I just can't."

He rested his forehead against hers.

"Do you understand me, Nikita?" he asked with a whisper "I love you"

"I love you too" she whispered back, her lips only inches away from his. She marveled at how easily they could kiss if they wished.

Again, as if reading her mind, Michael closed the small distance between them and captured her lips in his, gently parting them open, allowing his tongue to slide against hers.

Nikita felt her body melting into his as their kiss turned from tender and gentle to passionate and desperate, sending a rush of sensations through her body. They've been apart for so long that the feeling of his soft lips against hers sent jolts of electricity through her body.

In the limited space of their seats, Michael pulled her flush against him, desperate for the feel of her body against his, for the scent of her hair and the touch of her soft skin against his fingertips.

"God, I've missed you" he whispered against her lips

"I missed you too" she said before attacking his mouth again.

She felt his hands slipping under her thin cotton shirt and bit back a moan when his hand roamed over her breasts, still concealed by her black lacy bra.

Though still lost in a haze of lust, Nikita managed to come to her senses and broke the kiss, getting a groan of dissatisfaction from Michael.

"Not here" she whispered in his ear "Not like this"

After so long apart, they deserved something more romantic then Birkhoff's private jet.

"You're right" He smiled into her neck, though a little frustrated.

Nikita moved away from him a little, creating some space between them. She looked into his eyes, searching for some indication of what he was feeling.

Noticing her intent gaze on him, he frowns.

"What is it?" he questions, stroking her cheek.

"Are you okay?" she asks with concern.

He tightens his hold on her waist and gives her a sad smile "I will be"

She runs her hand through his hair gently "Yes, you will" she agrees "And when this is finally over and our lives get more stable, you'll get your son back. And you'll make up all the lost time. Like playing soccer, or going to the beach"

He smiled at her.

"Yeah, you're right" he kissed her softly on the lips "And you'll be there with us" Nikita nodded and rested her head on his shoulder "You…" Michael said, a small smile forming on his lips "And maybe a little girl who looks exactly like you"

She smiled into his neck "Yeah, but with your eyes"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Any particular thing you'd like to see on the last chapter?

Tell me your thoughts :)

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing.

~Rose.


	15. Power

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Which is bummer for me, right?

**A/N:** Hey guys. First of all, I'm sorry about the delay on this chapter. I know I usually update Wednesdays, but I'm out of town for Easter and only today I had access to a decent internet connection. I'm really sorry.

Ohh again, thank you so much for the reviews! I really appreciate each one of them.

So, I got it...

Per your request, I'll finish this story after chapter 1x19.

Then I'll write and epilogue with the Mikita baby girl :) I'm already taking baby name suggestions, by the way ;)

So, you know all the drill with grammar mistake, so I'll leave you to the story.

This chapter is a little "bipolar". It starts with a little more deep meaning, then finishes with a more silly story line

Hope you like it, though. Let me know.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>"I let her live" Nikita said with a hint of a smile, snuggling into Michael's neck "I let her live" she repeated, her voice hoarse with unshed tears that never actually got to surface.<p>

Michael kissed the top of her head gently, inhaling the intoxicating smell of her shampoo mixed with her own sweet, personal scent.

She exhaled a sigh and nestled in his arms, closing her eyes for a moment.

"What's on your mind?" he asked gently.

She didn't open her eyes when she answered him

"I'm not sure. Seeing Amanda, her hesitation to kill me, that look on her eyes... It just stirred some feelings I don't really get"

Michael gently stroked her hair

"We know how she works. Amanda has a way of getting into people's head. Don't think about it" he advised.

She chuckled

"It's not about that either. I can't exactly put my finger on it" she sighed again "It was almost like…if for a split second she…"

"She cared?" he supplied for her.

"Yeah" she agreed "Pretty stupid of me to think that, huh?"

He loosened his grip on her a little so he could look into her deep chocolate eyes

"No, it's not stupid" smiled Michael "I know it's hard to believe but Amanda is still human"

"Is she?" Nikita mocked.

"Well, I admit that every so often I think she's a robot" he played along with her, but soon became serious again "Sometimes people have a lapse or humanity. Maybe that's what you saw in Amanda's eyes"

"Maybe…If I didn't knew better, I'd say she actually cared about me. In a sick, disturbing way; in a _Amanda way_; but still" she shrugged.

"Maybe she did" he agreed.

"I think in some level, I cared about her too. When I couldn't pull the trigger on her…" Nikita evaded softly.

"It's because you're a good person, Nikita. Unlike her, you have a good heart" he stated simply.

"Good people don't kill other people, Michael" she agonized.

He shook his head, a little frustrated.

"You know, I wish you could see yourself the way I see you" he said "You have that image that you're evil, or that you're not worthwhile, or that you can't redeem yourself from your past. But you can, Nikita. You're already doing that. And that alone just shows how amazing you are. And how different from Amanda you are. Can't you see that?"

Nikita smiled at him, touched by his words.

"I won't give up, you know" he added in a humorous tone "I'll make sure you know just how incredible you are"

She kissed him softly on the lips nuzzled against his neck again, her hand grasping a fistful of his shirt, an action Michael didn't miss.

"Something else bothering you?" he asked, covering her hand with his.

"This whole thing…It just got me thinking about more than one aspect of my life" she let go of him and focused on the young girl watching TV on the other room.

Michael followed her gaze and realized she was looking at Alex. He looked back at Nikita and gave her a look indicating he wanted her elaborate.

Nikita sighed again.

"It's just… When I first got in Division, I trusted Amanda. It took a while, and many, many sessions but I did. And look at us now. She nearly killed me, I nearly killed her…" she looked down at her hands "I don't want that to happen to Alex and me"

Michael gave her a comforting smile.

"That's never going to happen with you and Alex" he assured her.

"It already happened once" she remembered him.

"Alex was confused. She was upset at you, she was angry and Amanda used that vulnerability to get into her head. But Alex is a smart girl" he looked into her eyes and smiled at her "that's why she came back to you. Because she trusts you"

"I trusted Amanda" she retorted bitterly.

"Nikita…" he put a loose strand of her hair behind her ear "You are not Amanda. You're compassionate, you're kind, and loving… you're nothing like Amanda. You are so much better than her."

She humorless chuckled, discarding his words.

"It's true" he insisted "And as much as it seems like sometimes… Alex is not you. And she knows everything you did for her. She was not your recruit like you were to Amanda. She became like your…"

"Please don't say daughter" Nikita exhaled a laugh "I'm too young to have a 20-year-old daughter"

Michael chuckled as well.

"Daughter figure, then. Or baby sister, call her as you wish" he conceded with a smile "What I'm trying to say is, you're never going to be like Amanda. And you are never going to hurt Alex the way Amanda hurt you. Because you're good, Nikita. You're good"

She gave him a teary smile.

"You really think so?" she asked, uncertain.

"I know so" he guaranteed. He looked at the half asleep Alex on the couch "And she knows it too. You have nothing to worry about."

* * *

><p>When Nikita woke up later that night, it was 4:00 in the morning. A metallic sound clattered to the ground just outside her room, echoing loudly through the small apartment.<p>

She instinctly reached for her gun, and when she realized Michael wasn't by her side on the bed, a chill ran down her spine.

Nikita slowly approached the door, already scheming an attack to whoever was outside. But as she reached for the doorknob, she could smell the sweet scent of something being baked.

Hesitantly lowering her gun, she recognized Alex's voice coming from the kitchen. Placing her gun on the dresser, she slowly opened the door, only enough so she could peek through it.

The girl was in the kitchen mixing something into a bowl.

"Finally!" the young Russian exclaimed when Brikhoff joined them in the kitchen.

"Finally? Do you know how hard it is to find a damn carton of Almond milk at freaking 3h30 in the morning?" the computer geek complained, way too loudly.

"Could you both keep it down, you'll end up waking her up" she heard Michael's voice, even though she couldn't see him from her position behind the door.

"But did you get it?" Alex asked, annoyed.

Birkhoff rolled his eyes

"Of course I got it. It's me" he bragged.

Nikita chuckled and she watched Alex roll her eyes.

She slowly moved to the small hallway that separated them bedrooms from the kitchen, and leaned against the doorway, knowing they were too entertained on their own conversation to notice her.

"Tell me again, why are we doing this at this time in the morning?" Michael questioned.

"Because…" Alex poured a cup of almond milk to the bowl "it's the only time we have"

Birkhoff looked into the bowl and furrowed hos brows.

"What the hell is this…gray thing?" he questioned.

"It's _frosting_" Alex chided angrily.

"Then why is it gray?" he retorted

Alex huffed.

"We didn't have any pastry colorant" she complained "I tried using blueberry juice, hoping it would turn into a violet or lavender tone but…"

Birkhoff laughed

"Nice call, pastry chef"

The girl grunted and gave him a death glare.

Nikita smiled at how they seemed like two siblings teasing each other.

"Stop it you two" Michael said seriously. He looked at Alex "I'm sure it will taste great, Alex"

Alex smiled and stuck her tongue out to Birkhoff, as a child would do.

"Poor Nikki" Birkhoff said, shaking his head.

Nikita felt tears shimmering on her eyes.

Was all of that for _her_?

"Why don't you make yourself useful and take the cake out of the oven, will you?" Alex said with a roll of her eyes.

_Cake?_ - Nikita thought - _They remembered?_

Her musings were interrupted by Birkhoff's laugh

"You call this a cake?" he mocked her

"It _is_ a cake" Alex defended herself.

She turned the cake pan down on a plate to unmold her cake.

Nikita had to hold back a laugh as the girl removed the pan revealing and uneven and slightly burned vanilla cake.

Michael scrunched his nose at the pastry.

"What?" Alex asked him "It was the best I could do" she said, angrily throwing a spoonful of gray frosting on top of her unsuccessful cake.

"If that's the best, imagine the worst" Birkhoff commented, poking it with a fork

"Well, I'm sure she'll appreciate the gesture" Michael said apologetically.

Alex looked at him, crestfallen.

"Well, does any of you geniuses of baking wanna try and do it better?" she huffed, offended.

"I loved it, Alex" Nikita said gently as she walked in the kitchen.

The trio looked at her with a deer-caught-in-the-headlights face.

"How long have you been there?" Michael asked her

"Long enough" she smiled

"I was going to be a surprise" Alex pouted "You weren't supposed to see it before it was ready"

"Alex sweetie, it's not going to get any better than that" Birkhoff said, and Alex punched him on the arm

Ignoring the two childish adults, Michael pulled Nikita into a hug.

"Happy birthday" he whispered in her ear.

Nikita smiled at him, her eyes filled with tears

"You remembered" she breathed. She looked at Alex and Birkhoff who had stopped arguing and were now staring at her with a smile "You all remembered"

"Of course we did" Alex said warmly.

Nikita let go of Michael to give her a hug.

"Happy birthday" the young girl said cheerfully "Sorry about the cake fiasco"

Nikita laughed "I'm sure it tastes great" she assured, and Alex smiled brightly.

"I wouldn't count on that" Birkhoff said with a smirk.

He pulled her into a side hug and kissed her cheek "Happy birthday Nikki"

"Thanks, nerd" she smiled "Not much people would go out at 3:30 in the morning to get me almond milk" she looked at Alex "Or to make me a cake" she then looked at Michael "or to make sure these two didn't kill each other on a kitchen war" she smiled at them "Thank you so much for this. I don't know how you remembered it. I didn't remembered it"

"I can tell you how old you are, if you don't remember it" Michael teased

"You wouldn't dare" Nikita smirked.

Michael pulled her into his arms again and kissed her on the lips.

"I've got a gift for you" he announced.

They all had.

Alex gave her a new iPod and the new version of Jenga Extreme, making her smile at the personal meaning it had for them.

Birkhoff got her a new gun; the exact one she wanted. But he had it gold plated and her initials were engraved on the handle.

"Try not to lose this one too soon, okay?" he said with a smile.

She couldn't help but smile back at him.

Michael slid a small, blue box with a white bow on it.

Nikita's eyes widened and he chuckled at her terrified expression.

"Relax, it's not a ring" he reassured her.

Nikita sighed in relief and proceeded to untie the bow. She opened the small box, to find a simple silver link bracelet.

"I know, it doesn't have any charms on it" Michael admitted before she could even notice it "But I thought… we could add a few, each one meaning one important thing for us."

Nikita smiled brightly at him "I loved it"

He smiled back as he pulled a second box from his pocket.

"It's still not a ring" he assured her. He opened the second box, revealing a heart shaped charm "It seemed fitting" he smiled, attaching it to the bracelet.

He held it up to her.

"May I?" he questioned.

"Of course" she agreed, and he gently closed it around her wrist.

"It's perfect" she breathed "I loved it, Michael"

"Good" he kissed her forehead, pulling her against his chest

"It means you and me" she stated.

"Yes it does"he agreed

"Ohh, you guys…" Alex said "You guys are making use here really uncomfortable"

Michael and Nikita laughed.

"Come on, Nikki" Birkhoff interjected "Time to blow your candles"

"Candle" Alex corrected "We couldn't find a nicer one" she said placing a cupcake shaped candle on top of her makeshift cake.

"That wax cupcake seems more appealing than your cake, Alex" Birkhoff commented and Alex punched him on the arm again, with more force than before, causing him to whimper.

Alex smiled victoriously.

"Make a wish, Nikki" the young nerd said as he lit the candle.

"I don't need a wish" Nikita said simply.

"Why, you are to cool for birthday wishes?" the young nerd teased.

"No" she chuckled "It's because all I could wish for is right here"

They exchanged a warm look, the four of them silently proud of the non-traditional, but still amazing family they had created to themselves.

"Though…" Alex said, breaking the moment "You could ask for this whole Division thing to be over with soon. We need all help we can get"

They laughed at her innocent comment.

"You're right, Alex" Nikita commented "We do need all the help we can get" she blew the candle out "even if it is from a birthday wish" she smiled and winked at them.

* * *

><p><strong>NA:** Yeah, the second part is silly and a bit OOC... but when I saw Amanda giving a cake to Nikita on the flashback, I couldn't resist. Sorry about that.

Tell me your thoughts on it, though :)

~Rose.


	16. Wrath

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Bummer :(

**A/N:** Hey guys, I'm back. Thanks for all your amazing reviews, I love and appreciate each one of them.

Okay, first things first... I'm having a really hard time letting go of this story. I really am.

So expect the next (and sadly, last) chapter to be a little longer than I usually do. Specially because I love to write the Mikita baby girl.

I'll make all my considerations, thank-yous and blah blah blah next chapter. I'm not ready to say goodbye yet.

So, grammar/coherence mistakes...well I believe you know how that goes.

Yes, again I wrote this at an unreasonable late hour (it's the only time I have, sorry guys), so bare with me.

I'll leave you to the story now.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>It was past two o'clock in the morning and Michael was still lying in bed, wide awake, just marveling at Nikita's slumbering form. He'd been up all night torturing himself with thoughts of what could have happened to her if Brandt had held her captive for much longer. The idea made Michael want to punch a wall. Or even better, Brandt's face.<p>

But then he looked at Nikita sleeping by his side, alive, with no life threatening wounds, sleeping warm and soundly, and all his anger dissipated. Since that moment, all he could do was admire the beautiful strong woman he had the luck to call _his_.

She looked so small and delicate, splayed on her side of the bed with her long raven hair falling to the pillow. Michael brushed a few strands of her hair to look at her face, lovingly stroking her cheek.

Nikita stirred slightly and Michael rolled back to his side, closing his eyes knowing she'd make fun of him if she knew he'd been watching her sleep.

"I know you're creeping out watching me sleep, Michael. No need to pretend you're sleeping" came Nikita's sleepy voice.

Michael chuckled and turned around to look at her; her eyes were still closed but she had a smirk on her lips.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you" he apologized, not minding her mockery.

Her eyes fluttered open and she batted her eyelashes as her vision came into to focus, her smile growing wider as she saw Michael's intent gaze on her.

"Hi" she whispered.

He kissed her lips softly "Hey"

"Why are you awake?" she questioned, a little worried when she saw the faintly dark circles around his eyes.

"I guess I'm just a little agitated" he admitted.

All of them had had a long, emotionally packed, stressful day so there was no point in denying he was still distressed.

"Hey…don't be. We are okay" she tried to soothe him, tenderly stroking his cheek.

He gave her a small smile as his hand covered hers lightly, keeping them on his face.

"I know. But I could have lost you very easily" he sighed, resting his forehead on hers "And the prospect of losing you…"

"Don't go there" she stopped him gently "I'm here now. We are together. That's all it matters"

He chuckled, opening his eyes to look at hers "You're right"

He pushed her hair off her face so he could look at her beautiful features. There were a few bruises on her face and it still she managed to look breathtaking.

"What?" she asked, feeling a little timid under his gaze.

"I love you" he said, ignoring and at the same time answering her question "I know I don't said it constantly, but I do. I love you so much, Nikita"

His hazel eyes were twinkling; she could see all the different emotions passing in his eyes. She saw compassion, kindness, concern and _love._

So much love she was astonished with such devotion he had for her. Overwhelmed, she looked away from him.

"I don't deserve you" she whispered "You're just too good for me. I don't deserve it"

Michael shook his head, a little frustrated.

"But you do" he guaranteed her "Because you are the most amazing" he kissed her forehead "caring" the tip of her nose "beautiful" he cheek "strong" he lips "woman I've ever met. And one day, I'll make you see yourself the way I see you. And then you'll understand. I promise"

She sighed and buried her face on his chest, breathing the familiar scent of his cologne.

"I've told you before" he whispered into her hair "I'm willing to teach you"

Nikita sighed in relief and a smile playing on her lips, happy that after so long, she just knew they were fine.

They were more than fine.

* * *

><p>"Can I ask you something?" Michael broke the silence a few moments later.<p>

Nikita nodded, a little sleepy.

"What did you see?" he questioned.

Fighting her tiredness, Nikita gave him a puzzled look.

"Earlier, you said you could see our future again" he clarified "what did you see?"

A slight blush crept through her cheeks as she hid her face on his neck.

Michael chuckled "Don't be coy. Tell me" he asked, his lips twitching in a smile.

She looked into his eyes "It's just… a series of small little things" she admitted "we could go out for dinner and actually enjoy dinner. We could go see a movie…it's been years since I've been to a movie theater and really watched a whole movie. We could travel and see new places…really see new places, not just the inside of a hotel room or a party we would infiltrate"

Michael nodded, lacing his fingers with hers "Sound amazing"

"Yeah" she breathed a contented sigh "Max would come visit us; we could take him to Disneyland. I've always wanted to go to Disneyland" she admitted.

Michael gave her a mock frown "You always wanted to go to Disneyland?"

"Hey" she smacked him on the shoulder "I was a kid too, you know. It's just…it looks so cheerful and happy. Or at least the pretend it very well"

"We'll go there someday" he promised.

"Someday" she repeated "We this is all over".

He nodded.

Nikita fidgeted with her hand still laced with his "It just worries me…someday could be tomorrow or ten years"

"No" he reassured "We'll make it out of this, soon. I promise"

"You can't promise that, Michael" she countered.

"You're right, I can't" he agreed "But I can promise I will make it happen. And if it's up to me to do so, I'll do it as soon as possible. Because I want all of that you just said. With you"

"Well, I'll take you up on that one" she joked.

Michael laughed and held her hand up, fiddling with her ring finger.

"You know what I see?" he asked her.

"What?" she encouraged him, smiling.

"A house. A big house with an even bigger backyard" he started, hid mind wondering "Where you can do yoga, and Max and I can play soccer. And we could get a dog."

"A German Shepherd?" she guessed.

"And a Dalmatian" he agreed.

She smiled even wider

"Wanna add a white picket fence to it?" she teased.

"It already has one" he said matter-of-factly, tickling her sides, making her giggle.

"It has to have a lot of spare rooms" she said when she caught her breath again "For Alex and Birkhoff when they come over to visit us"

"Maybe we could have a room for that little girl" he said, stroking her hair.

"You see, now you're pressuring me" she said with fake offense.

Michael frowned, not getting her jokingly mood.

"Why?" he asked, concerned.

"You always mention a little girl" she explained "What if I birth a boy?"

Nikita couldn't hide her smile at the thought. It had never occurred to her the idea of being a mother, but recently, a baby with Michael seemed to be the apex or their future happiness.

Michael stroked her hair, thrilled to see the spark on her eyes as they made plans to their future. It had been a while since he'd seen her this relaxed, this happy.

He'd missed her beautiful smile so much.

"If you birth a boy, Max and I will start a soccer team" he mused "However…" Michael looked deeply into her eyes and smiled "I know it's going to be a girl".

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Yes, fluff. A lot of fluff :) As you may have realized, no I did not focus on the I'm-evil-you-wouldn't-love-me thing. I believe all they had to say to each other was said on the episode, and I didn't want to ruin the amazingness Maggie Q and Shane West gave us last week. Hope you like it though. Leave me a review with your thoughts.

Ohh, I still want baby name ideas. I have three possible ones, but I'm not sure about it yet. Plus anything else you'd like to see on the last chapter, I'm open to suggestions.

BTW, I should be posting the epilogue next Wednesday, May 2nd. (lots of tears for me)**  
><strong>

Thanks for everything, guys.

~Rose.


	17. Epilogue Part 1

**Disclaimer:** By now I believe you guys already know I own nothing. Except for maybe a sweet, hazel-eyed little girl.

**A/N:** Ohh yes, I did split the epilogue in two parts. Sorry guys but I still couldn't click the "Complete" thingy. It's just too sentimental.

Next one will _**definitely**_ be the final.

**A/N****2****:** Again, thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews; not only the ones for the last chapter, but for them amazing 157 reviews I got on this story that started up as a one-shot.

You guys are truly amazing.

Grammar, coherence mistakes, you guys already know what to do.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Michael couldn't help the big smile that spread on his face as he entered the hospital room. He felt his heart swelling with love and pride as he watched Nikita peacefully sleeping, a ghost of a smile on her lips.<p>

It surprised Michael that after all the physical pain she'd been through her life; from withdraw crisis to torture; childbirth seemed to have been the most difficult for her.

She'd been so scared.

.-

"_Michael, I don't think I can do this" Nikita breathed, pain cursing through her once more_

"_Yes, you can" he whispered gently on her ear "You're almost there, one more time and she'll be here"_

_Nikita whined and buried her face on her husband's neck._

"_I can't, I'm too tired" she complained._

"_Just try breathing" Alex's soft voice advised her "she's almost here" the young girl smiled and brushed Nikita's hair off her face._

"_You can do it, Nikita" Michael kissed her temple "I know you can. You're strong, and you are amazing, and I love you. Now focus on our baby girl."_

_Nikita gave him a tired smile and gripped his hand, a little too strongly._

"_Come on, you can do it" Alex said supportively._

_She and Michael helped Nikita up to a sitting position._

"_One more time, big push and you'll finally meet your daughter" her doctor smiled at her "You ready?"_

_Nikita took in a shaky breath and nodded, focusing all her strength in bringing her baby to this world._

_Her hands closed on a death grip around both Michael and Alex's hands._

"_Just a little bit more" Michael whispered "she's almost here"_

_Nikita let out a loud cry as the_ _pain tore through her body, but quickly her agony turned into a warm sense of relief._

_Nikita laid back down in total bliss when she heard the amazing sound of her daughter's cries echoing through the room._

_.-_

Michael smiled at the recent memory, and gently kissed her forehead, marveling at his beautiful, strong girl and how happy she made him.

He almost couldn't believe how much their lives had changed in only two years.

It seemed it was just not long ago when their lives consisted solely on the angst of hunting down Division, and now he was sitting in a hospital room with his wife as he welcomed their new daughter.

To Michael, life couldn't get any better than that.

He noticed Nikita stirring and sat by her side, gently stroking her hair. Her eyes fluttered open and she immediately smiled at him.

"Hey" she whispered, her voice still a little sleepy.

"Hi" he leaned and softly kissed her lips "How are you feeling?"

"Tired" she closed her eyes and sighed contentedly "But happy. Very happy" When she opened her eyes again Michael was smiling back at her

"Good" he kissed her forehead "You should go back to sleep, though. It's a privilege we won't have again for a long time" he chuckled.

Nikita smiled widely.

"I'm up for the challenge" she looked around "Where is she, by the way?" she asked, slightly alarmed by not seeing their daughter.

"They just took her for a few standard exams. She should be back briefly" Michael calmed her down

Nikita sighed in relief.

"I don't like when she's away" she admitted "I know it's silly, but it's kind of hard not having her around. It doesn't make any sense, does it? I mean, she's been with us for only a few hours but it's like…"

"Like she's been a part of us for much longer than that" Michael supplied for her "I get the feeling. It was long nine months, you know"

Nikita laughed, reaching for his hand.

"I did drive you insane, didn't I?" she smirked.

Michael nodded

"You really did" he agreed a "with all the mood swings, the cravings, the crying. You were a handful"

Nikita leaned into his embrace

"You wouldn't want it any other way" she said knowingly, nudging his arm.

"Indeed, I wouldn't" he kissed the top of her head.

Nikita laced her fingers with his.

"Can you believe she's actually here?" she questioned, looking into his beautiful hazel eyes.

"No" he admitted "to me, it was just yesterday we found out you were pregnant"

_.- _

_Michael held Nikita's hand as they sat on the bed._

"_Did you read it?" he asked her gently, squeezing her hand supportively. _

_She shook her head negatively._

"_Not yet. I wanted you to be with me" she said with a sigh._

"_What's wrong? I thought you were excited about this" he asked, brushing a few strands of her hair comfortingly. _

"_I am…but what if it's negative, Michael?" she voiced her fears "I don't want to disappoint you. Or disappoint myself"_

_Michael gave her a sympathetic smile._

"_I get it, okay. But look, if it's negative, we'll keep trying" he reasoned "we are having a lot of fun aren't we?" he joked, and she slapped him on the arm playfully._

_Nikita held the envelope in her hands and looked at him nervously._

"_Go ahead" he encouraged. _

_Taking a deep breath, Nikita ripped the envelope open and pulled her test results out. _

_Michael watched her anxiously as she scanned the piece of paper._

"_So?" he pressed gently._

_Nikita looked up at him with tear-filled eyes. _

_Michael's heart skipped a beat as he couldn't tell if they were happiness tears or not._

"_We are having a baby" Nikita said, a smile finally splaying oh her lips "We are having a baby!" she squealed in delight, throwing herself over Michael, who pulled her into a bear hug and they fell down on the bed._

"_We are having a baby" he repeated his words, savoring how sweet they sounded._

_Nikita nodded and smiled at him._

"_I love you so much" she said in between her tears._

_He kissed her lips softly._

"_I love you too" his eyes fell to her still flat stomach "Both of you"_

_.-_

"And now she's here. She's real" Michael smiled.

Nikita chuckled

"I always knew how real she was. I carried her for 9 months, endured morning sickness, swollen feet, weight gain and don't even get me started on labor" Nikita teased playfully.

"It's the joys of motherhood" Michael smirked.

"I'll do it all again in a heartbeat" she said, looking at the empty hospital crib on the side of her bed "I miss her" she complained.

"Me too" he kissed her cheek "They'll bring her soon" he played with a strand of her hair

"They better, or I'll ask Sean and Owen to kick their asses" Nikita mused "Are they still out there?"

Michael nodded.

"And Birkhoff and Sonya and Ryan too. They stayed through it all and said they are not leaving until they get to see you and the baby" he said.

Nikita smiled warmly.

"Really?" she asked, a few tears forming in her eyes. She mentally cursed her still messed up hormones.

"Really" Michael stroked her cheek.

"We do have awesome friends, don't we?" she asked proudly.

"We do" he agreed "We are very lucky"

"Where's Alex?" Nikita suddenly remembered the young girl.

"She went to pick up Max. She's bringing him here"

"Ohh… I see" Nikita nodded "I'm proud of Alex. I didn't think she'd make it until the end on the delivery room. She seemed like she was about to throw up or burst into tears"

Michael laughed

"She did all those things" he said matter-of-factly "But don't tell her I told you. She panicked when you started screaming. She left the room several times to calm herself down. I told her she could leave but she insisted on being by your side during the whole time. Except when she had to throw up"

Nikita laughed.

"Poor Alex" she shook her head "I'm glad she was there, though"

"That's what we thought" he conceded.

The sight of a little velvet box on the front pocket of her suitcase caught his eye

"I have a gift for you, by the way"

"You do?" she smiled at his kindness.

Michael got up the bed and retrieved the blue velvet box from one of the suitcases. Nikita wondered how she had missed him putting it there.

"You already know this one" he said showing her the little Tiffany's box "I did make a few changes, though"

He opened the box revealing her old bracelet he'd given to her years ago.

The heart shaped charm was still there, on the exact same place Michael had set it all those years ago. Next to it, they had added a charm with two little bells, representing their wedding. Following the wedding bells, there was a delicate butterfly, representing Alex. A small little soccer ball was given to Nikita on the occasion of Max's first visit to their new home, demonstrating how the boy had become a part of their lives.

Nikita cherished each one of them.

A new charm she hadn't seen yet had been added. She touched it lightly and new tears formed in her eyes.

"Dou you like it?" he asked her hopefully.

Nikita took the bracelet and looked more closely at the pink baby carriage that represented their youngest daughter.

"It's beautiful" she smiled at him "I loved it" she pulled his face down to hers, kissing him softly.

After they broke the kiss, Michael locked the bracelet around her wrist.

The couple looked down at the full charm bracelet, proud of what they had achieved.

"Looks like a pretty good bracelet to me" Nikita gushed "I wouldn't change anything"

Michael smirked

"We could add a few more of these" he said holding the pink baby carriage between his fingers.

Nikita rolled her eyes

"I just pushed one baby out, Michael" she complained "Say that again and I'll file for divorce"

They both laughed at her empty threats.

There was a knock on the door and to their delight, it was the nurse bringing their bundled up baby.

Nikita immediately reached for her daughter.

The nurse placed the baby on her arms, and the couple looked down at their daughter with loving eyes.

"I'll give you guys a minute" the nurse said "But I'll be back soon, so you can try feeding her, okay?"

Nikita nodded

"Thanks" she smiled, turning her attention back at the infant.

Michael brushed a few of the baby's curls.

"She's so beautiful" he stated, his eyes never leaving the baby "She looks so much like you"

Nikita laughed, kissing one of her little hands

"She's so perfect" she marveled.

"She is" Michael agreed "Thank you" he said looking at Nikita with so much love and devotion on his eyes "for making this possible"

Nikita smiled and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Well, you have you fair share of credit" she laughed, but then looked deeply into his eyes "I love you. So, so much"

He kissed her lips "I love you too"

Nikita sighed happily and looked down at the sleeping baby, still overwhelmed by how much she could love her daughter.

She kissed the baby's forehead, taking in the sweet smell of baby soap.

She felt Michael's intent gaze on them, and smiled at the expectant look on his eyes; she knew he was aching to hold their baby.

"Would you like to hold her?" she asked, thought she knew his obvious answer.

His eyes lit up and he nodded

"Yeah" he said with a smile.

Nikita nodded over to her side of the bed

"Come here" she called him.

Michael got up from his chair and sat on the bed by her side.

Nikita carefully handed him the baby, and Michael nestled her on his arms, his eyes glistening with joy.

"She's amazing" he breathed, smiling at the baby girl.

"She truly is" Nikita agreed, pulling the pink blanket away so they could have a better look of their beautiful baby girl.

"Hey" Michael whispered to the baby "You have no idea how much we waited for you. Your mother and I wanted you so much. And you make us so happy"

Nikita stroked her soft cheeks

"And we love you very, very much, and we will always be here to protect you" she added.

Michael kissed Nikita's hair and she sighed.

"Are you tired?" he asked her.

"Yeah. But I don't want to sleep now, she'll be up soon" she said.

"Take some rest, I'll stay with her" he offered.

Nikita shook her head.

"I haven't seen her eyes yet" she explained "I wanna see her eyes"

"I did" he said looking from the baby to Nikita "They're hazel, just like mine"

A big, goofy smile splayed on her lips

"Really?" she breathed

"Yeah. Just like you wanted it" He said proudly looking at the baby.

They never got tired of looking at her, or smiling at her, or holding her. Having her gave both Michael and Nikita a rush of good feelings and emotions they just couldn't get enough of her.

"Look, I think she's waking up" Michael said.

The baby slowly opened her eyes and yawned.

"Such a lazy baby" Nikita giggled at her daughter's cuteness.

"Give her a break, it's not easy being born" he teased her.

"Yeah, tell me about it" she gave him a pointed look, but soon their attention was back at the baby, who had just taken a hold of Nikita's finger, and wasn't planning on letting go "She's strong" Nikita laughed.

"Just like her mother" Michael said with a warm smile.

"And her father" Nikita added gently.

"Ohh, she's going to be a handful when she grows up, won't she?" Michael shook his head in fake dissatisfaction.

"She surely will" she agreed "With this dashing eyes of hers…all the boys will line up to date her" she teased, anticipating just how much of a jealous father Michael would be.

He narrowed his eyes

"They won't dare" he looked down at their daughter's light brown eyes "You're not gonna date until you're twenty five" Michael said to the little girl "Even better, twenty eight"

Nikita laughed.

"Yeah, right" she patted his shoulder lightly "You keep thinking that"

"I'm serious" he said.

She chuckled

"I'm sure you are" Nikita tickled the baby's stomach, smiling brightly when the baby girl reacted with a smile "She needs a name" Nikita softly.

"Are we going with the one we had in mind?" Michael asked.

Nikita looked at the baby again, trying to take in all her features.

"I think it would fit her" Nikita said with a smile.

Michael smiled as well.

"Good, me too" he looked at the baby again, like if checking to see if the name would suit her "Yeah, it definitely fits her"

"So it's settled then" Nikita said, kissing her little hands again "Do you like your name, "

There was another knocking on the door, and they looked away from the baby to the door.

"Can we come in?" Alex's voice questioned from outside.

"Yeah, come on in" Michael called her in.

"Hi!" Alex said excitedly and she walked into the room with an eight-year-old Max right behind her. Alex was about to approach Nikita and the baby when Max pulled on her hand. Alex looked up at Michael.

_I think his jealous - _she mouthed.

"Max, come here, buddy" Michael said handing the baby back to Nikita "Come sit with us"

But the young boy just clutched Alex's hand tighter.

"Max, sweetie, come here" Nikita called him with a gentle smile.

But Max only looked up at Alex and shook his head negatively.

Alex lowered herself so they were at the same eye level.

"What's wrong?" she questioned in Russian, so the boy would feel more at ease talking to her "don't you wanna see the baby?"

"There's no space" he said quietly looking at the bed.

Alex ran a hand through his hair comfortingly

"There's plenty of space there" she looked at Michael and Nikita, who quickly moved in the bed opening a space between them for Max to sit "See?"

Max looked hesitant.

Alex hugged the boy close, whispering in his ear "You can sit with daddy" she giggled.

"Of course he can" Michael said getting up and reaching his and out to the little boy "Come on, champ" he smiled at his son.

Max smiled back at his father and took his hand.

Michael sat back in the bed next to Nikita, pulling Max up to sit on his lap.

Max's eyes were immediately on the little baby girl on Nikita's arms.

"Nobody is ever going to take you place on my heart" Michael whispered so only Max could hear him "B

The blonde little boy smiled brightly at his father.

"What do you think your little sister?" Michael asked him then.

Max pondered it for a while

"She's cute" he said cautiously touching the pink blanket. Surprising the three adults, Max leaned in carefully and kissed the baby's forehead.

Michael and Nikita felt their heart swelling with joy.

"Can I?" Alex asked excitedly

Nikita smiled at her protégée

"Of course, Alex. Why wouldn't I let you hold your goddaughter?" Nikita smirked, handing the baby carefully to Alex.

"_Me_?" the young girl asked, her eyes gleaming with tears.

"If you want, of course" Michael winked at her.

"Ohh…she's so precious" Alex said smiling at the baby and gently swaying her.

Max got out of his father's lap and moved to snuggle next to Nikita, who gave him an eskimo kiss. Nikita pulled the young boy into a hug and he laughed, jealousy all but forgotten.

"So, what's my goddaughter's name, may I ask?" Alex questioned still holding the little girl.

Michael nodded to his wife.

"Melinda" Nikita announced proudly.

"Melinda" Alex repeated, as if testing how it would sound "I liked it" she kissed the top of the baby's head "Why Melinda?"

"It means '_gentle_'" Michael said with a smile.

"That's what his baby book says" Nikita countered "I have a totally different reason for liking this name"

Michael arched an eyebrow

"Is that so? Can I ask why?" he challenged her playfully.

"It means '_honey_'" She looked at him with a smile "Which is the color of _your_ eyes" she then looked at the baby in Alex's arms "And apparently, _hers_"

* * *

><p><strong>AN****3****: **There, now that I formally introduced you to little Mel, next chapter I'll give you the beach scene, and with that, my goodbyes to this story.

Leave me a review with your thoughts, especially regarding the baby (did you guys liked her name?)

The second part of the epilogue should be up tomorrow (May 3rd) or on Friday (May 4th), tops.

And again, thank you so much to all of you for the support.

~Rose.


	18. Epilogue Part 2

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Never had and never will. Except maybe for that pretty little hazel eyed girl.

**Acknowledgments****: **I wanted to thank every single one of you who were by my side through this story. Whether you reviewed, Favorited, Added to you story Alert's or even if you just read it and never manifested. It really meant a lot to me.

I cherished every single one of your reviews, I really did. And I enjoyed the conversations I had with many of you via private messaging afterwards.

Thank you for the reading, for the reviews, for the support and for the grammar corrections.

Thank you all for everything!

**A/N:** Yes, I said May 4th tops and today is May 5th. But now I did it, I clicked the "Complete" thingy. I'd have posted it yesterday but it was midnight of May 4th and I still didn't like what I had written.

Now it's more how I wanted it to be. And I hope you like it as well.

Do I still need to mention all the grammar thing? I believe you know what to do by now ;)

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Nikita felt the sun bathing her skin as she sat at a white sanded beach in Hawaii, bouncing two-year-old Melinda up and down on her knee.<p>

The mother daughter duo watched as Michael and Max played soccer a few feet away from them.

"Dada" the little girl clapped her hands. She looked up at her mother "Max and dada. Pay"

"Do you wanna play soccer with daddy and Max?" Nikita deciphered her daughter's baby talk with ease.

Mel nodded and smiled expectantly.

Nikita tapped her nose lightly and smiled at the little girl, who looked endearing wearing a two piece yellow bathing suit with white daisies.

"You can't play soccer yet, Mel" she chuckled "you are too little"

The little girl shook her head

"Me big" she looked at her father and older brother again "Pay"

She couldn't help but laugh; her daughter had turned out to be as stubborn as her.

"Play" Nikita corrected her gently.

Melinda pointed at them again.

"Me pay" she said making puppy eyes. Nikita could swear Michael was the one who had taught her that "Please?"

"You know what, I'm starting to think you just don't wanna be alone with me" Nikita said, but her sarcasm was lost on the little girl, how just smiled at her.

"Mommy" she said simply burying her little face on Nikita's neck and giggling.

Nikita kissed her daughter's long baby hair and let the little girl toy with her hair as she watched the boys playing. Michael kicked the soccer ball with a little more force than necessary, sending it into the ocean.

He raced Max to see who would catch it first. The father-son duo forgot about the soccer ball as they entered the water, splashing water at each other instead.

Nikita laughed at their silliness.

Hearing them playing in the water, Melinda's attention was suddenly on her father and older brother again.

Her little eyes sparkled as she looked at them in the water.

"Now you wanna go into the water, huh?" Nikita knowingly questioned the little girl.

She nodded, sucking on her thumb.

"I thought so"

The former agent laughed and got up from her spot on the sand, re-arranging the baby on her hip as she approached Michael and Max.

"Hey, boys" she called out to them as she approached the shore "could you stop the splashing for a sec?"

The two stopped with the water kicking to look at them.

"You and mommy wanna join the fun?" Michael asked his daughter, reaching for her.

Melinda immediately stretched herself from her mother's hold, eager for Michael's waiting arms.

"Dada!" she squealed in delight when Michael held her.

"It's like I'm not even here" Nikita complained with false offense, but smiled as Michael rubbed his nose with Mel's, making her laugh.

"Maybe I'm the favorite" Michael teased her.

He hugged the baby closer, and she shrieked at the cold contact of her father's skin against hers.

Nikita rolled her eyes and smirked

"Yeah, you wish" she smirked, brushing her daughter's baby hair.

"Mommy" Mel called her mother "too cold" she whined reaching for Nikita, wishing fort the comfort of her non wet-cold arms.

"Told you you weren't the favorite" Nikita winked at Michael as she took Melinda from his arms.

Michael chuckled and smiled at the baby girl.

"You're right, baby" he conceded "it is too cold for you in the water"

Melinda pouted.

Max kissed his baby sister's cheek.

"Don't worry, Mel" he smiled at her "You'll be playing in the water with us in no time"

* * *

><p>"She's definitely your daughter" Michael breathed a laugh as he sat next to Nikita on the sand.<p>

"Yeah, I figured that much" she smiled at him "How do you feel getting your ass kicked by a four year old girl and a twelve year old boy?" she teased.

"I didn't get my ass kicked" he complained.

Nikita laughed again.

"They did score 12 goals on you, Michael" she said matter-of-factly

"Yeah, but who's counting?" he looked at his children still playing soccer a few feet away from them.

"I was" she smirked "And I'm sure the kids were too"

Michael rolled his eyes.

"It was a game just for fun" he defended himself.

"Yeah, right" she pretended to agree "Now you are going to tell me you let them win?" she mocked.

"No" he pulled his wife to his arms and kissed her hair "But that's what we are going to tell people if they ever reveal this score"

They laughed and Michael kissed her lips gently.

"I guess we are getting old" Nikita murmured against his lips "Mel is already four. Max is turning thirteen soon…"

Michael chuckled and captured her lips again.

"We are not old" he countered with a smile "In fact, I think it's time we make another baby"

Nikita furrowed her brows

"Is that so?" she asked, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Yeah" he agreed "Maybe we could have twins like Alex and Sean. A boy and a girl, so we can have two of each" he said playfully.

"Ohh, so I'm an incubator now…" she laughed "Not gonna happen"

"Fine, just one then" he conceded "What do you say, we start planning one for next year?"

"Humm…" Nikita hummed with an amused grin

"Is that a yes?" he smirked, leaning in to kiss her again.

"Maybe" she whispered, crashing her lips against his.

His hands gently brushed her hair as he deepened the kiss.

"Ewww" They heard too juvenile voices exclaiming.

They broke the kiss with a laugh and looked at the two children.

"That's so weird" Melinda complained covering her eyes up with her hands.

"Too weird" Max agreed with a grimace.

Michael and Nikita laughed, and he pulled Nikita into his arms.

"Is that better?" he asked "No kissing"

"Much better" the boy smiled.

Michael chuckled and Nikita gently freed herself from his hold, pulling Max to the sand next to her

"Why so jealous, huh?" she laughed, hugging the boy close and covering him in kisses

"Hey!" Mel complained "How about me?" she smiled mischievously.

Max pulled his little sister to the sand as well.

"Come here, Mel" he said helping her sit by his side.

Nikita hugged them closer, spreading kisses between the two of them.

"I don't know how I ended up with such jealous kids" she said tickling them.

They were soon rolling on the sand, laughing in delight as they had their little tickling fight.

"Hey" Michael said, calling their attention.

The three of them looked up at Michael, stopping their tickling momentarily.

"Now I'm jealous" he complained in a childish way.

Max and Melinda laughed at their father's immaturity, and Nikita smiled at his juvenile behavior, finding it slightly cute.

"I'm serious" he said playfully "Lots of love for mommy. Nothing for dear old dad"

Nikita exchanged glances with the two kids, who gave her a naughty smile telling her they understood just what she meant.

With a simple nod of her head, the two children threw themselves at their father, knocking him down on the sand and tickled him with more energy than before.

"You asked for it" Nikita smiled as she joined her children, and the four of them kept on with their playfulness, just rolling around in the sand.

When Michael finally got a hold of the situation he sat up and smirked at his wife and both his kids.

"The three of you better run" he said with a grin

Max and Melinda's eyes widened and they looked up at their mother.

"Run!" she said with a laugh, and she got up and sprinted away, making the little ones follow her immediately.

Michael got up and chased after them in a high-spiritedly catch up game, which finished with the four of them in the water, splashing water at each other and enjoying the end of the afternoon.

"Do we have to go back home this soon, mommy?" Melinda questioned as her mother braided her long - and wet- mahogany hair. She knew the end of their vacation meant her big brother going away.

"You know we do, Mel" Nikita said brushing a few strand of her hair gently "You need to go back to school, and so does Max"

Melinda looked at her brother and pouted.

"I'll miss you" she said sadly.

Max smiled at the little girl.

"It's just for a little while, Mel" he said with a smile, already used to the arrangements between his parents. Max missed them when they were apart, but contrary to his little sister, understood their situation "I'll be back before you can even miss me"

"Promise?" the little girl smiled sweetly.

"I promise" he guaranteed.

"Our vacation is not over yet" Michael pointed out "We still have time" he winked at the little girl.

"Wanna build a sandcastle, Mel?" Max suggested, trying to cheer her up.

"Yes!" she smiled brightly.

"Wait for me to finish your braid, Mel" Nikita said gently.

The little girl sighed.

"Not my fault your father and our aunt Alex won't allow me to cut your hair" Nikita said.

"No one is cutting her hair" Michael said giving his daughter a affectionately look.

Michael and Alex's obsession with Melinda's hair was something she never understood. Since she was a baby, they would never let Nikita cut the girl's hair more than some meaningless few inches.

She believed Michael wanted her hair longer because of its resemblance to Nikita's, and Alex was just loved to style the little girl's hair; especially now with two boys on the way, she liked the girl times she spent with her goddaughter.

"There you go" Nikita said as she tied the ends of her hair.

Max held out his hand to Melinda and the little girl held it happily.

The sat a few feet away from their parents and started building a sandcastle.

"He's good with her" Michael said proudly "Did you see how he dealt with her when she was sad he was leaving?"

"Well, guess he got his sweetness from you" Nikita winked at him "Plus, he loves her"

Michael smiled

"Of course he does" Michael said as if it was obvious "How could he not?"

Nikita looked at the kids, who were happily playing in the sand. Nikita smiled to herself.

"He's a great boy" she said proudly "They both are great kids"

"I know…they have amazing parents" Michael joked.

Nikita laughed

"I'm serious" she slapped lightly.

"So am I" he countered with a smirk "After all we've been through in life, we are still managing to not screw them up. That's amazing"

Nikita thought about it for a while

"Maybe you're right" she smiled.

"Honestly, Nikita" he looked at the boy and girl playing just a few feet away from them "All things considered, I think we are raising pretty amazing kids. You_ are_ mother material, after all."

She smiled warmly.

"I just hope we can keep it up" she sighed contently.

"I know we will" he guaranteed "Believe me, we will" he emphasized, kissing her hair.

Michael pulled Nikita against his chest and they silently admired the beauty of the Hawaiian beach as it gleamed in the afternoon sun.

"You sure you still don't wanna move to Hawaii?" He questioned running his lips over her ear "Mel likes here"

She laughed

"Of course she does" she said with a smile "Definitely your daughter" she teased him, quoting his statement from earlier.

"We are smart" he joked "Come on, look around. Wouldn't you like to see this every day?"

"See, the fun part of having a summer beach house is, we can come here every summer. If we lived here, it wouldn't be this amazing" she clarified

"You sure? It's seems like a good plan to me. Mel loves the beach, Max is always wants to spend his vacation here. It would be great" he countered in a humorous, light tone.

"Yeah, and we could sip drinks from a coconut, let Mel run free through the beaches and be a family of tanned surfers? It doesn't really suits us" she smiled.

"You're right" he agreed "But it's tempting"

She smiled and kissed his lips gently.

"Maybe someday" she conceded.

She looked up at her daughter and step-son playing in the sand and then to her loving husband.

"Because right now, I wouldn't change one single thing about our lives" she said with a bright smile.

Michael tightened his hold on her waist, nuzzling her neck.

"Ditto" he whispered with a smile "However, I'd love to add a new baby to it"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **So...That's it guys.

I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it, and I hope to see you guys on my future stories, 'cause I really love this couple and I won't stop at this one ;)

So, for the last time; on this story; tell me your thoughts !

And again, thank you so much for everything.

~Rose.


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